Long story short: my husband started talking to me in a downright offensive way.
We had our problems before (he has a short fuse and gets angry easily, many things annoy him and he has reactions that are disproportionate to problems he’s facing), but lately, things have been getting out of hand. He’s almost always in a bad mood and everything and I mean EVERYTHING can set him off. I can’t remember when was the last time we actually had fun.After each “episode” he looks for an excuse to talk to me and apologizes.At this point his apologies aren’t worth much. He just behaves how he wants and thinks that one “I’m sorry” will fix things, even though I keep telling him it never does.He’s even snappy when other people are around (at least earlier he pretended). I just don’t know what to do.I tried talking to him when he’s in a good mood, but he either denies everything or gets angry so that we cannot talk.We’ve been together for 15 years (since our mid-twenties). We both work and earn. I pull more weight since I’m the one who takes care of our home (cooking, cleaning, bills), so he really has nothing to complain about on that front. He does big things (repairs, painting the walls…) once in a while. Otherwise he just does what makes him happy, when he’s not at work. He has a hobby he’s passionate about. And I’m very supportive. I don’t think he’s been having an affair, but I guess I wouldn’t be the first wife to think that 😉 He wasn’t perfect before, but now things are really bad.Any advice?
View related questions: affair, at work
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A female reader, janniepeg + ♥, writes (18 November 2018):
If it was something you did, he would have definitely told you. He couldn’t control his temper, even with other people. There’s something bothering him mentally or he has a health problem he doesn’t want to reveal. People find it hard to regulate their emotions in different stages in life. The terrible twos, puberty, mid life crisis and just being old and sick. If he can’t have fun with you that’s because something is preventing him. He’s not letting you know anything so I would check his drawers for any medicine bottles and quietly spy on him at times he’s not doing his hobby.
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A male reader, Code Warrior + ♥, writes (18 November 2018):
You wrote:”I pull more weight since I’m the one who takes care of our home (cooking, cleaning, bills), so he really has nothing to complain about on that front. He does big things (repairs, painting the walls…) once in a while. Otherwise he just does what makes him happy, when he’s not at work.”That’s an extremely arrogant thing to say. You wondwr why he gets pissed off? It’s because you minimize his contributions in order to maximise yours. Frankly, I seriously doubt you do as much as you give yourself credit for.There’s no doubt in my mind that your arrogance is the problem.
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