This isn’t a relationship question, but a work one instead.
Last year I posted a question about becoming a chef and got loads of great replies. I love most of my job and the pay is good and I have had a promotion and my manager wants to promote me again this year. He’s a great guy to work for and it feels as if he really cares about his employees. However the downside to this otherwise great job is the hours. I work over 50 hours each week and only get an hour or so break when I do a split shift on the weekend, weekdays I never get a break (I don’t even always get a break on my splits) and this is just how it is for everyone who works there. It’s not unheard of me to work 9am-11pm without a break on a busy Saturday.A year on, I’m now feeling exhausted, constantly stressed and it’s affecting my sleeping and I’m becoming a bit depressed. I love the actual job, but not the hours/shifts. Everyone I work with does the same, so I feel like I can’t really say anything to my manager. He was great when I told him that I needed a few days off as I felt stressed and recently he’s been giving me a couple of extra days off too. So my issue is, do I find a job that lets me cook somewhere like a nursery or a school with set weekday 9-5 type work and have my weekends and evenings off but take a pay cut by about £3-£4K a year or stay at my current job where there is all this promotion opportunity and end up with very little free time? It’s hard to have a social life when you finish at 10:30/11:30pm every night, work weekends and on my days off all I want to do is sleep. Is there any advice you can please give me?
View related questions: a break, depressed, I work with, money
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A male reader, WiseOwlE + ♥, writes (9 March 2019):
Okay, maybe I shouldn’t answer this one; because I’m the ambitious type of guy. I’ve worked long hard hours; and I’ve pushed my way up! Being gay, meant I worked twice as hard to get promoted. I got passed-over, even when I was better qualified. I got raises, little promotions; but not the big office! Baby, that’s changed!Conservative corporate institutions prefer the white-guy, with an Ivy League degree, and a pretty wife. I beat the odds, I broke the glass ceiling; so I have an idea what it’s like for women. I’m also a person of color. Bi-racial!If you’re new at this chef gig, you’ve got to pay your dues. If the pay is good, you have opportunity; then you’ve got yourself a fine upscale or successful restaurant. Considering, many restaurants fail after a few good years, or never take-off at all. You’ve talked to the boss, and he’s giving you time-off. Then negotiate! If you’re a chef, and you find a job that doesn’t push you to the max; that restaurant might not be doing very well. They won’t pay well either. If you’re talking out of your exhaustion; you may need some rest before you go talk about changing jobs. If you’re the new-guy, you’ll get the sh*t-shifts, and grueling hours; until you earn the associate-chef’s position. If the head-chef leaves, you’re next in-line. Assuming that’s the kind of restaurant you’re working for.You need to talk to your boss about your hours. If he gave you a few days off, that means that was always possible; but you were just afraid to say anything, until you couldn’t push yourself anymore. You’ve proven yourself, you said your manager is reasonable. So talk to the guy!If you let them, employers will work you ragged. They figure a nice paycheck makes you their slave. I slave for the perks and the bonuses; but I get my time off, and I am well compensated! I give them what they want; which gives me the leverage to ask for what I want! That’s what you do!I guess it all depends on whether you want to be a cook, or a chef. I would stick it out, ask for more time off. Once you’re well-established, and you’ve got the experience of a fine or reputable restaurant under your belt; you might someday be your own boss. Maybe you’ll find a job of comparable pay and reasonable hours; but you want to continue fulfilling your dream as a chef. If that’s what you’ve trained to be, and you love it; then that’s what you should do.
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A male reader, N91 + ♥, writes (9 March 2019):
Well you tell us.What’s more important? Your mental health and well being or 3-4K? It sounds very obvious to me when it’s put into simple terms like that.If you do decide to switch jobs, I wouldn’t do it without first having another solid job offer in place or unless you have enough savings to keep you going inbetween jobs if you wanted to leave sooner.
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