I’m curious whether this is the norm with men in particular and online dating, but do men generally omit details about the more recent relationships / dalliances so as to not appear still hung up on someone? Or some other reason?
I was in discussion with a guy online recently who I later learned was an ex love interest of a colleague at work – we’ve never met, and he doesn’t know me outside of the online dating chat. I got talking to this guy about his recent relationship experiences and he failed to even as little as mention the ”thing” with my collegue, and outright lied about not dating or having kissed anyone this year. i tried to tip toe around the topic, asking other questions to elicit at least some discussion about it but he just downright behaved as though she never even existed? This “thing” between them was over a year, he would disappear and come back repeatedly and most recently he was the one hurt because she returned to an ex. He lied and said he’s been single over 2 years, and he’s not been romantically involved with someone that led to kissing since in a relationship (lie). He also denied any friends of the opposite sex having “feelings” towards him, which was clearly the case in my friends experience with him. Can someone please explain why someone seems so open about a past relationship to a complete stranger, but acts as though a most recent experience never even happened? It just baffles me.
View related questions: at work, kissing
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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (9 September 2018):
A question for YOU: why are you so fixated on this one on/off relationship? His past relationships are, quite frankly, none of your business, unless they affect you in some way (violence, STIs, etc). How do you know that the relationship with your colleague meant as much to him as it did to her? Or perhaps he has chosen to block it out and not speak of it because he got his comeuppance after messing her about and feels hurt/embarrassed. Of perhaps he knows you are colleagues and chooses to not embarrass HER? Without asking him outright, there is no way of knowing. You need to decide whether his denial of this relationship is a deal-breaker or not. If it is, then draw a line under this dalliance and move on. If not, then stop digging and driving yourself crazy.
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