A male Health And Fitness good-date-but-no-sparks-should-i-ask-for-a-second Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex    age 30-35, anonymous writes:

The Fat Decimator System

Hi all,

I went on a first date with a girl last night. We met on a dating website. I am unsure what to do next. She was a nice girl and I think the date went well. It was comfortable and conversation flowed. She said at the end that it felt like she’d known me for a long time which I presume is a good thing!But the issue is, I just don’t know if I fancied her. I liked her but there was no obvious spark. She messaged when she got home to say thank you and that she’d had a good night. But she was a nice polite girl so I know she would have said that regardless. But there was no x at the end. We have exchanged a few messages today without x’s. Just smiles etc. but I can’t tell if that’s reading too much into it. We’re both mid 30’s so maybe just outside the text talk generation :)So my issue is, do I try to see if she wants to go in another date. I have a habit of jumping into the first relationship that comes my way (and I’ve had girlfriends who weren’t as pleasant as her) so I don’t want to waste anyone’s time – hers and mine. I am aware that there doesn’t have to be soarks for things to work but is it leading someone on to arrange a second date when not sure?The other issue is that during the interim of asking her and then going on the date, I was offered a job abroad. I don’t think I’m taking this job but it has opened my mind to the possibility. If there is even an opportunity I might leave should I stop things now? I mentioned in both our previous texts and on the date about it so there was nothing hidden. We were very open. But we have still been talking today, I presume both of waiting to make a move one way or the other and wondering why it hasn’t been brought up. Is there a standard etiquette for this situation? Is a second date an ok idea? I genuinely liked her enough to at least want to be friends so that’s maybe why I’m wanting a second date. But I’m just not sure at the moment…Any advice is greatly appreciated!Thanks in advance!

View related questions: move on, spark, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2018):

When I dated long ago .. I went with the view that it was just friends and getting to know the other person. So why not do the same .. sometimes as with me .. love comes later without being forced .and good communication is a good start if you just say hey wanta go on date number I really like getting to know you ..

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A female reader, Honeypie Health And Fitness good-date-but-no-sparks-should-i-ask-for-a-second-1 Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (21 September 2018):

Health And Fitness good-date-but-no-sparks-should-i-ask-for-a-second Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex    I agree with Cindy,If you wanted a second date, you would have asked her already.IF you can find ONE women you “sort of” click with… you can find another. That is what dating is for, fine-tuning your search for a mate/partner.That way BOTH you and her are free to look elsewhere.

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A female reader, CindyCares Health And Fitness good-date-but-no-sparks-should-i-ask-for-a-second-2 Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (21 September 2018):

Health And Fitness good-date-but-no-sparks-should-i-ask-for-a-second-1 Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex    If you don’t know whether you want a second date or not- then you don’t really want a second date.If you really had a wish for a second date, right now you would be already planning this second date and asking the girl out , rather than asking us what to do.Sure, the ” spark ” is not a deep connection- it’s about chemistry. Well.. chemistry is an excellent place where to start from :). Of course then you have to go and see if you also have compatible personalities , values, interests.. if a relationship within you would be sustainable in practice. But without that initial spark, or chemistry, or attraction, I think the best you can hope is a friendship, not a romantic relationship.Of course there’s nothing wrong in making a new friend, that’s great in fact. But I have my doubts that a girl who goes on a date with someone found on a site ( to which she has signed up looking for a relationship , for someone to date ! ) would be much interested in making time for a new platonic pal. Otherwise she would have used, not a dating site, but a ” friends only” site.

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A female reader, Blod Health And Fitness good-date-but-no-sparks-should-i-ask-for-a-second Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (21 September 2018):

Health And Fitness good-date-but-no-sparks-should-i-ask-for-a-second-2 Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex    I think a second date would make sense. You’ve only met her once. I imagine a second date would clarify how you feel about her. It’s not wasting time. It’s just working out if this girl is worth pursuing. If you’re used to sparks on a first date and then end up rushing into a relationship that never works out, then maybe you’ve been going into relationships based on lust. That’s good to get things started, but you can’t build a long-term relationship on it. You need friendship too.So if you genuinely like this girl and are looking for a relationship, I think she’d be worth a second chance. But if you’re just not feeling it the second time around, leave it.

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A male reader, N91 Health And Fitness good-date-but-no-sparks-should-i-ask-for-a-second Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (21 September 2018):

Health And Fitness 977e3106-6f9b-4a08-abba-678cab1a22f1 Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second? Relationship & Sex    If you didn’t feel anything major then it’s not a great sign. I think the fact that you’re having to ask for advice is whether to go on a second date says it all.You wouldn’t be able to wait to ask her on a second date if this situation had potential. You said you were open with each other so why not continue it, tell her that you had a nice time but you don’t see anything romantic here. I think she will appreciate you being honest and not stringing her along. I’d keep searching if I were you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2018):

Go on the second date, you’re unsure still so what have you got to lose?I don’t personally think sparks have to fly the minute you meet someone, that is lust, if it ends up where all it feels is friendship she is old enough to work it out and come to that conclusion herself. A casual date won’t hurt

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