Hi, I’ve just transferred to a new university starting second year where everybody already knows each other. I befriended a girl on my course and she introduced me to her friendship group on the course which has been lovely.
I’ve particularly gotten on well with one boy in the group who I felt more comfortable getting close with because he has a girlfriend from back home and so I didn’t think would take my friendship the wrong way. I definitely didn’t act any different to how I would around the girls but single guys seem to always take you being nice to them as indication you like them. Although people kept teasing us, I just took it to mean that it was so obviously not like that, that people felt comfortable enough to joke about it.Anyway he’s just told me that he really likes me and that he will break up with his girlfriend. I of course told him that I just want to be friends and that I thought he wouldn’t think I was flirting with him because he had a girlfriend but he still maintains we’d make a good couple because we get on so well. I’ve tried to cut all contact with him, outside the group but he keeps trying to talk to me in lectures and I don’t know what else to do.
View related questions: flirt, has a girlfriend, teasing, university
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 October 2018):
If he wants to break up with his girl back home that is HIS choice.YOU have ALREADY made SURE he knows you are not interested in dating him.However, what can you learn from this? Well, if a guy has a GF (no matter where she is) don’t flirt. You can still be friendly without having to flirt, right?For MANY people flirting is HOW they show they are ATTRACTED and INTERESTED in the other person. So when you flirt with a guy you are NOT attracted to or interested in, you might be giving the WRONG signals.YOU don’t OWE him to date him because he wants to break up with his GF at home. I would just minimize the amount of time you spend alone with this guy and even how much time you spend WITH him within the group.
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