A female Health And Fitness his-football-match-is-taking-priority-over-me His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex    age 22-25, anonymous writes:

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Long distance problem!

So for half the year my boyfriend and I do long distance, so I am only home one weekend a month for half the year which sucks but we make it work and the half of the year we are together full time is amazing. We have two more ‘half years’ left. I am coming home on friday and our plan was to have me over friday night have all day saturday night and then half of sunday. He told me he has a football match on saturday which i said is ok because he would only be gone for 2 hours.However when we were chatting earlier he said he might be gone for the full day on saturday if the match is an away match, which really upset me. He trains with these guys twice a week and then a match on saturday yet I’m his girlfriend and he hasn’t seen me in almost a month. It seems his football match is taking priority over me which makes me feel like crap. If it was the other way around i would drop anything for him. Am i over reacting and should just let hi play the match or am i right to be upset?Thanks

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2018):

What struck me first about your post was you saying ‘I said it was ok because he would only be away for two hours’. That sentence tells me that you think you are allowed to tell him what he can and can’t do. And your last sentence…’should I just let him?’ Wow. Maybe it’s just the way you phrase things, but it sounds as if, underneath, you think you call the shots.If you carry on thinking that because it is your weekend together, nothing else is ALLOWED to get in the way, well, I wouldn’t want to be your boyfriend. You both have your own lives. You are the one that has something going on that prevents you from having a ‘full time’ relationship all the time, so you must understand that life doesn’t always organise itself to fit around what YOU want.For goodness sake, don’t say to him I will ALLOW you to go, because believe me, that kind of talk will build resentment.Wish him luck with a smile on your face or go with him and support him, but, for the sake of your relationship, don’t act as if you have the right to dictate whether he gets to play football or not. On your weekend together or not. You don’t own him, you’re not this mother. If he wants to play football, then wish him well with a smile. Who knows? Maybe next time this happens it will be you with a friend who has a hen party that weekend you’re supposed to spend together, or your family want you around for whatever reason etc etc.How would you feel if he started objecting? Don’t try to control anyone in your life and things will be fine.

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A female reader, CindyCares Health And Fitness his-football-match-is-taking-priority-over-me-1 His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex     + , writes (8 October 2018):

Health And Fitness his-football-match-is-taking-priority-over-me His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex    …and your team would kick you out as unreliable , unsupportive and disconnected. ( In ref. to “if it was the other way around you would drip anything for him” ).Ditto if you were part of an amateur drama company and you’d flake out on them on opening night because bf comes first. Or, if you belonged to a voluntary association who had been working their butt off on some special fund risisng event- to be held the night of your visit.And so on and so forth.Of course , you see him once a month (… but just for half of the year .. ) and you were looking forward to have a romantic full immersion in your psychological love shack , or love bubble; that’s understandable, – it’s normal that you are a bit disappointed.But: you are an adult, you must have realized, I guess, that both he and you are other things than just two lovers, right ?. I mean, he is your love, but he is also a worker, (or a student ), a son, a brother, a friend, … a sportsman and a member of a team. He wears many hats, beside that of ” boyfriend “. Same as you do, I am sure. Now, of course if one wants to have a relationship he / she needs to prioritize, to compromise, to balance with finesse and adroitness between his / her different roles, to make sure that the partner’s needs are basically fullfilled most of the time. But this cannot mean asking your S.O. to dispose of all his/ her committments , obligations, pursuits and interests other than the couple itself ! That would be stifling , obsessive and suffocating. You say that you’d drop everything and anything for him as it it were a badge of honour: well, it’s not. That’s a fusional love, a love that does not take into account that there’s a whole world around the couple which every lover belongs to, and that sometimes life in general may interfere with love life , and that’s ok too- it may be a slight nuisance, but t should not be cause for anger , resntment or feeling crap.More so, because in your particular instance, there ‘s a simple solution. Follow rge ream and go see your bf play and cheer for him.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Health And Fitness his-football-match-is-taking-priority-over-me-2 His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex     + , writes (8 October 2018):

Health And Fitness his-football-match-is-taking-priority-over-me-1 His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex    Why not go and support him by going to watch him play. You just might enjoy it. Unfortunately things happen and I guess he cant control the timing of playing away. Personally as much as it is disappointing for you it is a bit of an overreaction.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Health And Fitness his-football-match-is-taking-priority-over-me-2 His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex     + , writes (8 October 2018):

Health And Fitness 49f157e9-364f-4a56-bc91-249c21db156e His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex    I hit the enter key too soon …..You ask if you should just let him play the match …. does her really require your permission?

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Health And Fitness his-football-match-is-taking-priority-over-me-2 His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex     + , writes (8 October 2018):

Health And Fitness 49f157e9-364f-4a56-bc91-249c21db156e His football match is taking priority over me. Relationship & Sex    You have committed to doing something that takes you away for half the year, it seems your boyfriend is okay with that.Your boyfriend has committed to being part of a football team, sometimes he is away for two hours and sometimes a whole day. I don’t understand why its okay for you to do stuff that takes you away for long periods of time but not okay for him to honour his commitments for a few hours.

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