A male Health And Fitness how-can-i-ask-my-family-to-back-off-from-my-pregnant-girlfriend How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend? Relationship & Sex    age 22-25, *rett123 writes:

The Fat Decimator System

I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming.

When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was cheating on her, when she confronted him he became really angry and pushed her into a wall. She packed her things and left. A few weeks later she found out she was pregnant. They haven’t had the smoothest breakup and he goes weeks with out seeing their daughter. We met through friends and started hanging out. She told me right away about the pregnancy. Her ex hasn’t been supportive through out the pregnancy.Last month I started going to her appointments with her and I plan to be here for her through out the rest of the pregnancy and when the baby is born. Both of leases were up in December and we decided to move in with each other. I get their concerns, it does seem fast but it works for us. We all went to my parents for Boxing Day and I didn’t find anyone really that nice to her. My sister questioned her about everything, my dad just kept asking about her ex and who was going to be there for the birth and my mom was trying way To hard. You could tell my gf felt uncomfortable. We had originally planned to go and stay for New Years with them, every year my dads whole family gets together for New Year’s Eve.But I’m unsure I want to put her though that again. How can I nicely tell my family they need to be more respectful and except our relationship? I’m not even sure I want to tell them yet about the rest of our plans

View related questions: her ex

<– Rate this Question

Reply to this Question

Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Aunty BimBim Health And Fitness how-can-i-ask-my-family-to-back-off-from-my-pregnant-girlfriend-1 How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (29 December 2018):

Health And Fitness how-can-i-ask-my-family-to-back-off-from-my-pregnant-girlfriend How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend? Relationship & Sex    Y’know, I am going to be a fence sitter on this one. Whilst I wouldn’t say your relationship is DOOOOMED from the start, there are going to be a lot of hurdles to jump before it all settles down into ordinary ever after ….a two year olda violent ex who will forever be in your lives because of two year oldan impending baby, and regardless how many appointments you attend the violent ex at this moment in time has more rights to that baby than you do.Your family are right to be concerned, I would be as well in their shoes. You are still quite young, and a ready made family with a violent ex in the picture is a large and heavy load for a young man to carry, your family will be concerned such a load might squash you, its not the future your family dreamed of for you.And there’s your poor mum, fake happy face trying to spin something positive out of it all.It doesn’t sound as if your family were rude, just concerned. Surely you didn’t expect wide open arms and a big warm group hug and immediate acceptance … these things take time.Your family need reassurance, they need to feel you and your girlfriend are dealing with the situation realistically and eyes wide open. They need to believe you are not putting yourself into the middle of a messy domestic arrangement. They need to feel reassured that if they welcome your girlfriend and her children into the family and allow the love to grow that it wont all be wrenched away from them, and especially from you. The need to see stability and sensible decisions being made.Your situation is odd, and outside the realm of what families expect and so naturally there is concern.You need to demonstrate that you and your girlfriend are aware this is not going to be an easy path but that you both have considered all ramifications and are approaching them rationally in a mature headed manner. Staying away from family gatherings will only highlight the unusual aspects of the relationship, better, in my view, to attend and get the awkward moments over and done with so that you can move forward. Good luck.

<– Rate this answer

A male reader, WiseOwlE Health And Fitness how-can-i-ask-my-family-to-back-off-from-my-pregnant-girlfriend-2 How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (28 December 2018):

[EDIT]:Corrections:”You meet some pregnant female with a child, man-problems, and all sorts of drama and problems in her life.”

<– Rate this answer

………………………….   

A female reader, Anonymous 123 Health And Fitness how-can-i-ask-my-family-to-back-off-from-my-pregnant-girlfriend-3 How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (28 December 2018):

Health And Fitness how-can-i-ask-my-family-to-back-off-from-my-pregnant-girlfriend-1 How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend? Relationship & Sex    To be honest, I too would be very skeptical if my brother brought home a girlfriend like yours. What do you want your family to say OP? How exactly do you want them to behave? You can’t possibly think they’d chat about the weather! Look you can’t expect your family to warm up to someone they barely know, that too someone you introduce as a girlfriend who’s a pregnant girl with another child with a dubious ex! What reaction did you think you’d get? Do you have any idea what you’re getting into? I know you feel right now that no one understands you and everyone’s out to get you but hey, you’re asking for it! You’re unsure of what you’re putting HER through? I’m sorry but what you’re putting your family through is no picnic in the park either!

<– Rate this answer

………………………….   

A male reader, WiseOwlE Health And Fitness how-can-i-ask-my-family-to-back-off-from-my-pregnant-girlfriend-2 How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (28 December 2018):

I’m sorry, but your family is right! You meet some pregnant female with a child, man-problems, and all sorts or drama and problems in her life. Then you immediately decide to move-in together?!! That is impetuous, impulsive, and in very poor judgment.Your family is concerned, because they can see what you won’t. You have stepped into a pile of dodo, being Prince Valiant! Without thinking, trying to be noble by saving someone only too quick to accept refuge from a young and inexperienced guy; who thinks he is ready to take-on a ready-made family! She has made a ton of bad choices!It was not right that they were rude to her. However, if you bring someone to your parent’s home; they have every right to question who they are, and decide how this person will fit. They are all concerned about how all her apparent problems will impact you and your family. She has poor judgement by moving-in with someone she barely knows!How do you intend to support them, if he wont? Even worse, she’s still in the midst of her breakup!!! Dragging all that baggage with her. Her ex can make all sorts of trouble; and you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. Your father does! You’ve stepped directly into the middle of their business; and he has paternal rights to his children. So you will be in the middle of all their drama!You’re the one who needs to be more respectful of whom you bring to your parent’s house. You can’t bring your “rescues” home and expect your family to embrace them with open-arms. You may dismiss all the baggage she has; but they don’t have to. Your kindness and sense of compassion is highly commendable; but your judgement is questionable! You are an extraordinary person, I will not deny that!Again, they have no right to be rude to her. They do have a right to question her intentions, who she is, and your judgement!

<– Rate this answer

………………………….   

The 2 Week Diet