I just started a new job a few weeks ago. Everyone has been nice to me so far… except one person. You see, when I met him I thought he was cool. He teased me a little and tried to make me laugh (it worked). But then it was like a switch flipped. All of a sudden he started being rude. When I would say hi, he wouldn’t respond. So I stopped, I don’t talk to him now. I am not going to make an effort to be polite to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Today at work he smiled and said hi to me, then proceeded to be so mean to me that I cried after I left the room. Then he tried to get me in trouble with another department, and lied about it to make himself look good in front of the manager when the other employee confronted him about it, and to make *me* look like a liar. I did not bring it up with him, I don’t want to be anywhere near him. I am not sure why this person dislikes me. How can I keep away from him when I am forced to work with him?
View related questions: at work, co-worker, liar
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A male reader, Code Warrior + ♥, writes (17 October 2018):
Stiffen your spine and stop acting like work relationships are anything other than professional. Make sure you have your ducks in a row and always be prepared to defend yourself. Do it calmly. Crying is weak ass shit that’s not deserving of respect. If you want to survive, don’t do that again.Now you know where you stand, so just be cordial and professional. Double check anything work related that this guy tells you. Anything. It’s pretty simple to do. Go to someone else who would know about whatever it is that he told you and simply ask: “I was told X, but I just want to make sure that I understood correctly.” Don’t mention names. Basically, you’re just trying to corroborate anything he tells you. If you can’t corroborate it, then ask your boss to corroborate it. Eventually, you will learn the ropes and he won’t be able to mess with you. Word will get back to him that you’re fact checking him. He’ll either confront you, or he’ll back off and choose another target. If he confronts you, his ass is yours. That’s when you kick the HR machine into gear. But even then, don’t allow yourself to get emotional. Just be matter of fact and professional.
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 October 2018):
1. Don’t CRY in front of him. EVER.If he is a TOTAL ass who likes to get new people in trouble and treat them like shit, DO NOT give him ammo to do so.. and CRYING is just that. That way he will know JUST how easy it is to push your buttons.2. Just STICK to being professional and polite towards him, if he chooses to ignore you, that is on him and his immature behavior and DO NOT take it personal AT ALL. Just remind yourself that he is an ASSHAT!3. As to why he dislikes you, who knows? And WHO CARES?! You don’t have to like everyone you work with, you just have to be civil and work with them.What did he SAY to you that was so mean it made you cry?Because if that is going to be how he acts around you, you NEED to go to your supervisor and tell him/her what’s going on with this guy. Same with the trying to get you in trouble with other departments, it NEEDS to be nipped in the bud.IF he is a bully and gets away with it, it won’t stop, even if you move job. It will just be someone else who gets bullied.Just because you are new doesn’t mean you HAVE to take crap from someone like that.The person who is training you, that isn’t him? right? If it’s NOT him, I’d talk to that person and ask what is up with Bully McAsspants. (he might be a relative of the owners – or whatnot. Some people are just not nice, doesn’t mean you should let it affect you, your work – but it also doesn’t mean you have to take what he dishes out. AT ALL.
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