Basic sex question:
I just got out of a 2.5 yr relationship. I’ve met someone new, and we’ve been very open with communication and I’ve been able to let her know that while I’m not absolutely ready for something concrete, and that I need some more time to myself for healing and self growth, I do really enjoy her company and am looking forward to learning more about her/continuing to spend time with her.We have great chemistry and after the last few dates we’ve started to get more intimate, including foreplay activities. She has only had sex in the past a few times, and is very tight, i.e. I feel like 2 fingers would have hurt her.I don’t think we are there yet, but when we finally do have sex, I am worried about physically hurting her. I am on the larger side, and have accidentally caused girls to bleed from intercourse.We both have histories of being victims of non-consensual sex, and have small degrees of PTSD from our experiences. As such, our open communication about our relationship is very important to us, and I see no reason why that shouldn’t continue, but it also makes me want to be extra cautious as to make sure her first time having consensual sex is nothing but pleasurable.Other than the obvious, don’t skip foreplay, extra lube and take it very slowly with lots of verbal feedback, does anyone have any experience with this type of scenario or tips they would like to share with me? Thanks in advance!
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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (2 October 2018):
You sound like a very caring young man and you seem to have it all covered already. I would say the most important thing is to communicate – which you already know. And just remember, whatever stage you are at, “no” still means “no” and she is entitled to change her mind.
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