so i saw this fine woman at the gym today and i wanted to talk to her but i dont know how to start it off or approach her…what should i say? when and how should i approach her?
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 January 2019):
The GYM is rarely a great place to try and “pick” up a date. Especially if the person you are interested in takes her work-out serious.A woman who is sweaty, grunting and trying to CHANGE her body or just stay fit is NOT going to want to be hit on at the gym. (I’d say that fits MOST women you’d run int oat the gym).HOWEVER, doesn’t mean you can’t give her a smile, nod or hello if you are working out next to her. If she responds positively, then some easy small talk can perhaps be in order, but if she doesn’t then please respect her WISH to not be hit on while working out.
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A male reader, Code Warrior + ♥, writes (5 January 2019):
Before I had my own home gym, I used to go to the gym to work out, not pick up women. I’d certainly notice attractive women at the gym, but it never occurred to me to hit on them. All I know is that my workouts were pretty intense, very regimented, and I had strict rules about time between sets, so I didn’t really appreciate it when I got hit on by girls during my workouts. After my workouts, I was too sweaty and tired to want to interact with anyone. My guess would be that the same would likely be true for her.
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A male reader, WiseOwlE + ♥, writes (5 January 2019):
Stop and read your post my friend. What is it about this woman that makes it so hard to approach her? What’s going through your mind when you see her that intimidates you around her?If she spoke to you first, what would be your first reaction and response? These are not rhetorical questions, they are genuine questions I hope you will answer for me.Never approach a woman as if she is an angel to behold. Too many young men idolize and place attractive women up on a pedestal. They’re human beings. Most introductions start with hello! If she seems uninterested in making your acquaintance, no big deal; she probably has a boyfriend. If she’s single and seems stand-offish or unresponsive; don’t take it to heart. Move on! Continue to be polite and speak when passing until she gets used to you.Say hello and follow wherever the conversation leads you from there. Talk about what your goals are at the gym, ask her what hers are. Talk about diet and whatever sports or physical activities you enjoy outside the gym. Maybe hiking or mountain biking. One conversation will lead to another, and maybe you’ll get a number. If she seems to show little interest, man-up and shrug it off. Move on!Confidence comes from pushing yourself outside your comfort-zone. Seeing people as people, and not feeling you have to live-up to some imaginary standard. She doesn’t even know you; so she can’t dislike you, or reject you based on anything you lack. If you’re nervous and creepy, that’s a good reason to walk a wide circle around you. Some ladies don’t like being hit-on at the gym. So just be friendly and follow her lead. If she seems receptive, follow your natural instincts. Keep in-mind angels are invisible to the human eye; unless they’re here on assignment for some holy cause. They are perfect, notoriously single, and don’t have to go to the gym. They’re naturally buff!Just say hello, and don’t be a doofus and babble incoherently. Calm down and keep things in proper perceptive. She’s a lovely woman you’d like to get to know. If she’s up for it, exchange numbers; and eventually you can come-up with a plan for a nice date. Starting out with a lack of confidence places her out of your league. If you’re over-impressed with her looks, and you’re judging her on that alone; she IS out of your league! That would be true for every woman you’ll meet. Defy your fears, and say hello to that lovely lady! There is no formula or one-size-fits-all approach to women. Don’t anticipate her reaction, let it happen; and deal with it when it comes. Everything depends on how friendly and responsive she is; and how un-creepy and confident you are!
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