My husband is a wonderful man but he is a control freak sometimes. When he is, it’s harmless, but super annoying. FYI we don’t have kids. For example:
He’s the chef in the family. He’s very particular and likes following recipes. He’ll go out to buy any “missing” ingredient rather than improvising. If he’s making Italian pasta that day, he’ll get annoyed if I bring out the few Chinese dumplings we had leftover from the evening before (“that’s a weird combination” he says). I’ll tell him to stop being dramatic. When we order out, he likes letting me order first so we don’t order anything too similar. This one’s harmless I suppose. When eat eat family style with family or friends, he likes putting food on my plate so I can try everything. But it doesn’t seem like a sweet gesture, rather he’s annoyed that I only eat the ONE dish I like. Which I think is perfectly fine and doesn’t affect others. With others, I usually tell him straight up “thank you, but I’ll serve myself” but before going to his parents i like to remind him that if he keeps piling food on my plate I’m not going to eat it and it looks like i hate his mom’s food (I have thick skin, he doesnt). On days he works late, he’ll give me instructions on what to do for dinner. He used to repeat himself and then CALL me when i’m home to make sure i’m doing it like he said. I told him to say it once and to not follow up. He’s accepted that and stopped. He loves cooking and I don’t, but occasionally I’ll want to make something. One time, i came home first and cooked halfway and he started taking over when he got home. I told him to quit meddling. He pouted/giggled and walked away. Another time, he tried telling me what to make (in great detail) and i said “I’ll make what i want, if you want to cook, come home earlier.” I wouldn’t have minded because like i said i don’t like cooking lol.When cleaning, he likes to watch and tell me HOW to clean. I told him i will clean MY way and the result is the same, if not cleaner. Those are some example off the top of my head (i know they’re mostly food-related, he just LOVES food). I want note that he is never rude! He is nice, every time, but annoying. He even giggles because he knows he’s guilty of being controlling. But seriously, it drives me nuts. Does anyone have advice on how to “combat” a control freak husband? I think I’m doing a pretty good job. My responses and straightforward and polite. I am a bit worried it will get out of control in the future though (we are newlyweds). Thoughts?
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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (22 March 2019):
I think calling your husband a “control freak” over minor “annoying” little quirks he has is a bit harsh. Trust me, a real control freak is SERIOUS. Your husband’s behaviour, on the other hand, is “annoying” (your word). The best bit is that he KNOWS he is being annoying but seems unable to stop himself. You seem to be doing a pretty good job handling him. In your shoes I would not take him too seriously or make too big a deal of his little quirks. Just keep slapping him down, or ignore him if you can. My other half is very similar and I have learned (over many years) to either ignore him, tell him to p**s off or to ask him if he wants to do the task in hand himself. Your husband’s behaviour is only as serious as you allow it to be. You can’t control him but you CAN control how you react. Don’t make a bigger thing out of it than it needs to be if the rest of your relationship is good.
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