I’ve been with my partner for 4 years nearly and I loved him dearly. he’s a good man I get on well with all his friends and family but we went through a difficult stage for a few months recently we were arguing and it just seemed like he disagreed with everything I said just to be difficult. I felt so frustrated and angry because every day we would argue. I emotionally shut down and our sex life took a nosedive. he then came to his senses and apologised saying he doesn’t want to lose me. I love him so much but I am finding it difficult to get back to where we were and now things just feel so awkward. we have so many good memories together and I would be sad if it ended. but sometimes it feels like we just can’t get that spark back. while we were arguing in that four months I Began talking more With A male friend of mine and it felt like we had more of a connection we grew closeI felt guilty but it was natural we have so many things in common. he developed feelings for me and if I was single I would definitely return those feelings. how do I get the spark back it feels like we have grown apart
View related questions: sex life, spark
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 September 2018):
Yep, drop the male friend. He isn’t helping your situation and he has his OWN ulterior motives. So IF you want to stay with your BF and give it a go, you NEED to block and cut off the male friend completely. You can’t do both. And it’s not fair on the male friend either, because if you have given him “hope” that you might drop the BF and see him… then you are kind of stringing him along.What things did you argue over? Little things? Big things?Are these issues sorted out? Are they important?Do dates, DO things together with your BF, not just sit at home and veg out. Go for walks, out for lunch on the weekend, if you live together, then clean house, redecorate or just move furniture around. Cook together.If it all doesn’t work and the relationship JUST can not be “restarted” DO NOT jump immediately into a new relationship – not with your male “friend” nor anyone else. TAKE some time to be single.
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A female reader, janniepeg + ♥, writes (20 September 2018):
If you want to get that spark back, you have to stop seeing that male friend and focus on your boyfriend. It takes time to rebuild the connection. You feel like your relationship is dying, indeed a part of it has to die. The part of it that causes your arguments. Your boyfriend has to mean his apologies and stop making fights. You both have to decide if the issues are really dealbreakers or not. A second chance in love can be better, if you put faith in it. A relationship hits a fork on the road when you not sure if you can make it long term. So this will be a time to decide that too. You don’t want to waste another 4 years then find out you can’t deal with each other’s differences. Your boyfriend can’t just get back together because he doesn’t want to be alone or he doesn’t want you to get another boyfriend.
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