I’m in a really bad mood with my friend because she is moving. She is going to her bfs country to visit family. I haven’t spoke to her in a few weeks because I’m really annoyed and I don’t want to lose my friend but I know she will go and I don’t want to go back to being friendless. I want to be happy for her because she deserves it. She’s not from around this area and moved here a few years ago to save money which was how we met. I don’t want to say anything to her because I don’t want to ruin things for her. What should I do? I’ve been ignoring her messages because I just dont know what to say and I’m not in a good mood.
View related questions: money, want to be happy
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A male reader, Code Warrior + ♥, writes (17 June 2019):
I understand that it’s upsetting to lose your only friend, but, sometimes, being a friend means putting on a brave face and supporting even if your heart is breaking. Insted of being angry with your friend, wish her well and let her know that you will miss her terribly, but don’t even think about trying to lay a guilt trip on her. Just say you’ll miss her and you wish she could stay, but you understand why she has to go and, while you’re sad for yourself, you’re happy for her and only want the best for her.I know you feel angry, but your anger is really just grief that you’re trying to suppress. Just let your grief out. Don’t try to fight it. It’s OK to be sad and it’s OK to let your friend know that you’re sad, but make absolutely sure that she also knows that you support her. Don’t let your anger destroy the friendship.
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A female reader, Andie’s Thoughts + ♥, writes (17 June 2019):
OP, I understand that you’re sad about losing your friend, but you’re not being a good friend. Most friends support each other through this time, not ignore them for weeks!You also just say she is going to his country to visit family…. is she moving there or not?Please speak to your friend. You can say you’ll miss her, then move on and be supportive. She probably NEEDS your support and you’re ignoring that. You can also keep in touch if she moves.Also, I think therapy would help you process this and make new friends.
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