I know this ja going to sound very silly but lately I’ve started feeling very guilty about my experiences . I’m 27 as of now. I was committed to a single guy for 5 years from high school and fell for a friend after breakup. I didn’t sleep with any other guy for years despite being single . After i heard a lot of “move on”, “ stop wasting single years “, I’ve had 3 flings/ one night stands .
I realised its not meant for me. I didn’t like it or enjoy it. I don’t knkw why I was so naive and keen to “live” my single years and experiment. Lately i feel guilty about it. I don’t know why I feel like it was stupid to sleep around even though i was single. I don’t know why I feel guilty and overthinking it. Also, all my close friends are in long term committed rel and they have never slept around and maybe that’s why I feel guilty/ stupid about it. I don’t understand my feelings but I’m definitely feeling low. Am I overthinking ? I knkw its not wrong but I feel like why wasnt I being myself .
View related questions: my ex, one night stand, sexual past
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 January 2019):
I think there has been such a trend in society the last 20 years to make sex something “insignificant” that it somehow “liberated” women to have sex with any Tom, Dick or Harry they wanted. The thing is, most women aren’t really wanting the casual sex. Sex for many women MEANS something. Emotionally. For others casual sex is fine. You tried to live up to the “whooo I’m single I should “mingle”” and it just didn’t click with you. It wasn’t what you really wanted, it wasn’t the experience you thought it would be.So what happened? You stopped. 5/6 partners at at age 27 isn’t exactly a huge number. I don’t think there is much need for you to beat yourself up over it. You can’t go back and change things. You can’t put the cat back in the bag. so what CAN you do? Accept that you had a “phase” and that you now have outgrown it.Then you figure out what you WANT out of life and head for that.Accept that you aren’t perfect and that is OK. Accept that you made some choices that were less than stellar. Welcome to adulthood, OP. We all make mistakes. LEARN from it, don’t repeat it and MOVE on.
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