I had an affair with my boss. We are both married. It was clearly an emotional affair for five years and then we crossed the line. I know it was wrong and there’s different reasons on both sides why we went down this path – not an excuse though. His wife started suspecting but he didn’t want to end it. In the end, I didn’t like how I was not being communicated with as far as what was going on (after all I had a lot at risk too), and I couldn’t take the guilt of a double life. So I ended it, not very well as it was abrupt with little discussion. He begged me not to saying he’d change, but i knew it had to happen.
He wants to stay secret best friends and he doesn’t want me to leave my job. I’ve tried to explain why I just want a clean break, but he doesn’t seem to get it. If we talk about things he tells me my marriage is going to fail and bad-mouths my husband – which I’ve never done about his wife – he has put the blame of his actions on his wife (ridiculous) – and he’s admitted that he’s staying for the kids and the money; but, that it’s a limited engagement until the kids are grown up. While he asked me to wait for him when the affair was going on, he now is telling me how I’ll get over him with time. He’s right that I still care – a lot – but, I am the one trying to move on. I wish he could be in my life but I know I can’t just shut those feelings off.How can he just pretend nothing happened? I know he doesn’t love his wife (everyone does) and I knew neither of us was going to leave our marriages for the other, but I did believe he cared about me. I believed he loved me. Him being so non-chalant now is making everything feel so worse.
View related questions: affair, best friend, money, move on, my boss
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