Hey guys, I really don’t know what to do here.
I’m 28, have been in successful career, slowly building up money for house, still living with parents. Recently I lost my job and it has been a month since I have worked. I am living with parents and it is really affecting me. My priority is getting a job, I am running out of time, I need to move on. Yet my daily problem at the moment is cleaning. I mean no matter what day and time it is, there is always a time my parents will be cleaning. I’m getting so fed up it’s driving me nuts.I’m looking for jobs yet they are concerned that they found some dust underneath the tv. But there’s no way out: at same time my gf of 4yrs is in another city, waiting for me to get a job because we can’t see each other until that. Her pay only covers her living and rent just about. If I ask for her to help, we argue. She cannot afford and I can’t let her stay hungry. So I don’t ask her. They are all making me feel depressed. I wish I could either be helped or left alone. I’m struggling to keep happy because of others but I know the problem is me. If I stay in my room my parents treat me like a kid, although I could b in there on my laptop doing applications. God I feel so young although I’m not, and I hit rock bottom. Not happy. Struggling to stay sane and not do anything stupid to take mind of things. None of my friends know, they got thier own issues.Sigh. Some days I am superman, my mental thinking is strong. Today however I don’t feel that. I’m worried I will lose that fight if things get too tough.. thanks
View related questions: depressed, living at home, money, move on
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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (20 September 2018):
Losing your job can knock the stuffing out of the strongest of people, so don’t be too hard on yourself for struggling to cope. Remember, this too will pass. Like Honeypie, I too would strongly recommend either temping or, if that is not possible, doing some voluntary work. Absolutely ANYTHING looks better on a cv than a big gap. Having done quite a bit of recruiting in my time, I always get a very positive impression about someone who says “I was between jobs so temped/did voluntary work as I like to keep busy”. It shows a willingness to muck in with whatever needs doing. Employers like that. If you are having trouble finding work in your home town, perhaps widen your field to include where your girlfriend lives (if you feel you could have a long term future with her). That will automatically give you much more choice. Good luck. I hope something comes up for you soon.
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 September 2018):
Just keep writing those applications, call and do follow up on the ones you already sent you.If you have not done so yet, consider looking for jobs in the same city as your GF lives in? It might make it easier to spend more time together ONCE you get a job.Try and set a routine. Don’t sleep in until noon and stay up til 3 am. Have daily routine. get up, shower, eat and start looking for a job.Go for a run/job/bikeride/walk/gym so you get out of the house, get some fresh air.You might even consider a temp agency. JUST so you can DO something other than staying at your parents house all day (and it will pay too).If you GF is in no place to help you financially, then accept that. But then SHE also have to accept that you can not come visit until you DO have a job.WHEN you get a job, which hopefully will be soon. START having a saving account for rainy days.It SUCKS to be unemployed but you WILL get another job, just keep at it!Chin up!
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