Ive written a few times on here but im starting to feel low. I am dating a guy and at the start we were both looking for a relationship he would do and say things that made me think he wanted more than where we were at. He has said he doesnt feel the same way as i feel about him he was honest but its really hurt, We are open enough to be able to talk about our feelings like this. He said one day he might like me the same but not right now. He suggested i join a dating site to find someone better than him but it doesnt work like that. I cant just stop my feelings for him. I dont want to lose him from my life but ill be broken if he found someone else to have a relationship with. I can honestly say ive never felt this way about someone before. I did say because he knew how strong my feelings are for him it would make things awkward but he said it hasnt. The more we spend time together the more im getting hurt knowing its all one sided. i know i cant force him to like me and i did tell him not to word things certain ways as its getting my hopes up but then he says he doesnt know what the future is going to bring. Hes said once his car is fixed hes going to come over to see me more its things like this that are mixing my head about , do i leave him alone and not bother ? do i hold on to a little bit of hope i have a chance ? do i just have a proper full clear conversation with him asking him how he feels and what he hopes for this year out of life and whats included ?
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 January 2019):
I know you don’t want to hear it, but you are WASTING your time loving/caring for someone who DOESN’T feel that way about you.He has TOLD you that he doesn’t. That maybe in time he could, perhaps… but what if he doesn’t? Which IS more likely. That little GRAIN of hope he tossed you way is what you are BUILDING on. The things is, people might grow fonder of someone but the REASONS he DOESN’T want to date you now would be valid 1-3-4-5 years from now too.You are TRYING so desperate to fit this poor square peg into a round hole, because it’s what YOU want.I also think he being something of a dick. Telling you that he wants to spend more time with you (but not date you or care for you) and that MAYBE,PERHAPS, Could be… he might in time feel more for you… and then suggesting you go on dating sites… I feel he is stringing you along JUST in case he can’t/won’t find “better”.He knows FULL well that ANYTHING he says that gives YOU hope for a future with him, you will grasp and hold onto whilst ignoring the facts and the truth.If you WANT a fulfilling relationship with someone who LOVES you back, HE isn’t it.Why put him first in your life? He certainly doesn’t put YOU first….PUT your own happiness, hopes and dreams first (for a change). CUT all contact and LET him go.Take some time and focus on you.You aren’t DATING this guy, HE has been pretty obvious about that.You NEED to accept that NOT every guy you meet and like, will like you back to the same degree. Which means YOU need to move on instead of wasting time “hoping” stuff will change.
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