I have been on leave 10 days got back to work today.
How would you feel if you were on leave and the boss (female) took photos of all the female staff to celebrate int womens day?To show we are a good team. (Yes there are guys there, but this was for womens day)The Photos taken the week of int womens day.I was on leave.Boss displayed them on the wall as a poster. I wasn’t there for photo taking (like a few others) but I cannot help feeling very left out and a little hurt.I saw the poster when I returned to work after leave today. Is it ok to feel hurt, I almost feel unwanted.Of course I said to the boss and the in charges, that the poster was nice, go women etc.!Work in a hospital, am a nurse, a worker, not a boss. Photos were of all women on our floorDrsNursesPhysiosCleanersSecretariesDieticiansSpecialist nursesEtcWhy do I feel not part of the team? Feel very unwanted I missed out.How to get over this?It seems stupid as I wasn’t there for photos, I was on leave.Thankyou
|<– Rate this Question|
Reply to this Question
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!
A female reader, CindyCares + ♥, writes (11 March 2019):
OP, I would not put it as feeling hurt is ” Ok ” or ” Not Ok “. You feel what you feel, there is no handbook of proper , allowed , ” Ok ” feelings which people are entitled to feel, while other not Ok ” feelings they must deny them or feel ashamed about them. Yet, it seems you realize yourself that your feelings are not rational, and come from having a wrong, skewed perception of what really happened. You have not been excluded from the group picture ; you have not been bullied ,or lied to, or manipulated so that you should not be there and join in.Simply, …you weren’t there by your own choice ! You were on leave ! Your exclusion was not intentional; they did not mean to leave you out . What would you have preferred , that your bosses had called you at home, asking you to cut your leave short and come back to the workplace so that they could take a better group pic, with all the workers bar none ?! I don’t think you would have liked that better…As for why you don’r feel part of the team…honestly, I don’t know. Maybe it’s you; maybe it’s them; maybe it’s 50/50. What I mean is that some people have a natural knack for team work , and fitting in socially, and others , not so much. Some people are gregarious and social by nature, and within a group they act as if they belong because they spontaneously feel that they belong. Other people are more withdrawn or introvert or perform better on tehir own or whatever, and have a harder time fitting in and being accepted instantly as part of the gang. Anyway, please remember that you are there to perform a job at the besr of your abilities, not to promote your social life and make new friends. You do you ( always being civil and polite to everybody, of course ); then ,if you happen to establish closer relationships with any of your colleagues, that’s a bonus; if you don’t… that’s fine as well, it’s a workplace, not a social club.
|<– Rate this answer|
A female reader, Andie’s Thoughts + ♥, writes (11 March 2019):
It’s okay to feel a bit left out, but it’s just poor timing. You happened to be on leave when she happened to take the photos. You weren’t the only one. Don’t allow it to get you down.
|<– Rate this answer|