A female Health And Fitness i-think-my-bf-is-bored-with-me-and-im-feeling-insecure-about-sex I think my bf is bored with me and I'm feeling insecure about sex Relationship & Sex    age 26-29, *anedoodles writes:

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So lately I’ve been feeling insecure about sex. Me and my bf had an argument that he was following strippers on Instagram. He ended up deleting it. I told him that it made me feel disrespected and insecure. He said that he thought about why he followed them and it’s because he’s trying to fill in the void by me not imitating when it comes to sex. He says that me not imitating makes him feel unwanted and he resorts to following them. He said that he’s not sexually satisfied with me and after that I felt bad about myself. He said sex is great with me but me not imitating is what makes him feel not satisfied with it. He said he wants more exciting and that since he always imitates it’s like routine and what’s me to, to make things different. This has taken a huge hole in my self esteem as a woman and I’m feslkng like i will never satisfy him. This week he bought a toy and then wanted to know if it would be okay if he went to an exotic convention where they have seminars, classes, and porn stars. All of that makes me feel like he’s bored of me. And I’m just feeling low. So I guess I want advice on how to get through it. Thanks in advance.

View related questions: insecure, porn, self esteem, stripper

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A male reader, WiseOwlE Health And Fitness i-think-my-bf-is-bored-with-me-and-im-feeling-insecure-about-sex I think my bf is bored with me and I'm feeling insecure about sex Relationship & Sex     + , writes (27 October 2018):

Okay, slow your roll girlfriend! You don’t go out of your way to please anybody who makes you feel disrespected and insecure. He’s following strippers online and into porn. You just got played! He flipped the subject, because he got busted!Sex is boring because he wants things to be kinky and freaky like porn. What’s next? Are you going to have to get breast implants, wear skimpy outfits, and make yourself up like a hooker?Spicing-up your love-life can be done without letting porn be your game-plan and instruction guide. Just ask him what kinds of things he likes; and if they are things you feel good doing and will enjoy. Try them. Don’t be weak-minded and simple, and just be led around by the nose; while this guy is just some porn-freak who chases hookers, and can’t tell real-life from fiction. You are not a porn actress; and sex doesn’t have to be performed in the sleazy ways as directed by some scumbag porn-director out for a fast-buck! Trash-peddlers who objectify women like they’re nothing but two-bit disposable blow-up dolls.Trying to advise women with a weak-mind and low self-esteem is tough; because they listen to no one but their boyfriends. He got your mind off his checking-out strippers online, and made you believe you’re the problem.Wise-up sister! Maybe he can make some suggestions that don’t always have to include porn actors and pornography.If that’s not who you are, don’t let people encourage you to act out of character; then turns out, he’ll be hooked on porn anyway!Don’t be a dead-fish in bed; and just lie there and let things happen to you. You can be on-top! Initiate sex, he doesn’t always have to be the one who does it. Be cute and sexy for him; but don’t let him lead you to believe you have to be sleazy and cheap to satisfy him. If you don’t feel right doing it; then he’s the wrong guy for you. Use your brain. Weak women with small minds get played and dumped by men. Grow-up! You’re not a child anymore. You’re a woman.Your self-esteem is not putty in his hands. It belongs to you. It’s homegrown, self-maintained, and it can fixed or repaired when necessary. Don’t place it the care of others; or they will make you feel stupid, insecure, and inadequate.Does he have a big one, or is it average? Why is it up to you to be the one to make HIS sex-life better? Does he give you orgasms? It does go two-ways! If he has a tinee-weiner, you have no business feeling insecure!Insecurity is your fault, if you fall to itty-bitty pieces over what some porn-loving sh*t-for-brains boyfriend says to you. Does his body and package look like the guys in the videos? Why should you?If you don’t want to go to some porn convention; don’t go. You don’t have to be led around by the nose like a flipping idiot and behave a bimbo to keep a boyfriend. You’re in the prime of your life, and you deserve better.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2018):

Sorry I just answered but didn’t realize it was a convention! Yes, go with him! Make it a weekend away. Keep an open mind. Have fun. Really get into it. Show him lots of enthusiasm! Trust me, this is exactly what you need to do right now. Be aggressive and tell him you’re going. If he says no, go anyway! Ok? Tell him you’d like to learn new things and want to make him happy and that’s why you are going! I’m sure lots of women will go!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2018):

Tell your boyfriend you would like to go to the seminar with him! Insist on it! That way you can both share the experience together and learn new and fun things about sex that you can apply to your own sexual relationship! What’s wrong with that? Don’t look at the seminar as a threat but rather an adventure and learning experience. One which will bring you closer. Show him you want to please him. And he will definitely reciprocate!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2018):

As a couple surely communication is better than nothing? Why be insecure about feedback? Look at ways to make it exciting!!I’ve been with my boyfriend 18 months and without him telling me I know that sex can become boring if same routine is followed. So I have looked at ways. New underwear, sexy boots/high heals, more foreplay, sexy music and yes be confident enough to initiate it,it shows him you want him!His request to go to this convention I understand will knock you, he has told you how he feels and if you have told him it has knocked your confidence then if he loves you he would be working on making it exciting with YOU so is he wanting to go to it for this on making that happen with YOU? I would suggest if it’s for the good of your relationship you go as well.He is either just being honest or you are both on different tracks in sexual compatibility but from what you have wrote there is no harm in you initiating it and looking at ways to make it more exciting, within YOUR boundaries but don’t accept what you don’t believe to be the truth and have him start walking all over you. If it was honest loving feedback that’s one thing but it doesn’t mean you have to suddenly go along with anything he says or wants to do!!

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