Im at an age where I’ve lost a lot of friends for various reasons over the years and trying to make more interesting new friends so I msged an aquantance with a common interest and all seemed well and positive. She said she would talk to her friends who I also have met and might be interested (this was something common I had with them).
Few days later I msged to confirm if they were still interested as the event was coming up and I haven’t had a reply.I don’t feel like I was pushy or rude but I do find a nonresponse as rude.Am I in the wrong or right? Where do I go from here?
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A female reader, aunt honesty +, writes (28 November 2018):
It could be that you came on a bit to strong when messaging her out off the blue. She may have thought you where looking for more than a friendship or she may have simply didn’t know how to respond when you asked her and her friends to meet up out off the blue. I mean how well did you know this woman?I agree yes it does come across as rude, but when people don’t reply it usually shows they are not interested they just don’t know how to word it. So I think you need to accept that she has no interest in forming any kind of relationship with you. You are not right or wrong. But maybe start by just being friendly with people and getting to know them without looking for to much to quick.
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 November 2018):
I don’t think you are doing it wrong per say, but you are presuming that THEY also want to make new friends.You also started off by messaging a woman. So is it REALLY a friend you are looking for? She might think you had a different ulterior motive. Or her BF thought you were looking to find a way “in” romantically.So if you are going to message people online that you think you share common interests with, maybe try guys first?And maybe you should try meetup group events where EVERYONE is looking to meet new people. I think making friends (REAL friends) is best done in person.I have met some really nice people while volunteering and we have all met up a few times, it’s really nice but not “overwhelming”. So that is another way to meet new people.Don’t feel bad that this attempt didn’t work, try again, try different things and definitely different people.Whatever event you were talking to her about, maybe attend it alone and see who you might run into and get to know?
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