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I have a question I would rather discuss privately. I have received two very nasty emails from people I once knew. I have sought solicitors advice and I’m satisfied with what the solicitor has told me. Emotionally it has affected me very badly though. Friends have advised I just forget it all and get on with my life, but it’s easier said than done. If there are any experts on this situation I would like to discuss this further and hear your opinions of how i should cope with this.
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 November 2018):
Not an expert at all, but I can give you my two cents.You know the saying or rhyme:”Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me.”Words can be hurtful. THAT is why the people who sent you those e-mails wrote them. They wanted to hurt you. So what to do about it?I would ask myself this:Is there any truth in what they wrote?If not, then how does it really pertain to you?Example, they called you a thief who stole from the church’s collection box..You never took anything. You never stole from the collection box. Which means, it’s a LIE. And it really has nothing to do with you, but whom ever accused you. They OBVIOUSLY have issues and think lashing out at people will make them feel better. But it won’t. Not long term. Calling you a thief (example) because they HOPE you will feel HURT by that, or FEEL a need to defend yourself, – its like THEM peeing their own pants in winter to keep warm. It might work for all off 30 seconds, after that… all bitterness and regret.If what is said IS NOT true. Then the BEST thing you can do is NOT “drink” the poison, but accept that the person have issues, BLOCK them from contacting you (that means BLOCK their e-mail address – or make it go straight to the trash, because it IS trash). Dust yourself off and keep living your life.Not everyone will like you, OP.Not everyone is mentally stable and healthy. Not everyone consider their OWN actions, or think before they speak or do something.Lastly, OPYOU CAN NOT control what other people say, feel, think or do. The ONLY think you can control is HOW you react.I get that it might be easy to lash out at them in return or defend yourself.BUT that also means you get in the “gutter” with that person. You STOOP to their level. You VALIDATE their words.And if there was ANY truth to what she said, how do you feel about being called out like that? Is that something YOU perhaps needs to mull over or accept?
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