Should I move across the country? I have grown up in New York – originally born in Europe but immigrate here when I was 9. I am 33 now single female and for my education oout if the way and currently working 89 hours a week to pay off my debt/loans and start from the bottom. New York is convenient – I don’t have to drive and my job is flexible and to be honest this is all I know – but I feel so lost.. I don’t have a bf- I don’t have many friends and I have a strained relationship with my parents. I work a lot and my bills add up to 4k a month. I would like to move to Los Angeles but I am scared. One of my close friends and confedants is moving with me if we decide to leave but it will be going in blindly. I will have a job lined up but she might no(she isn’t educated and has a state job here) I plan on saving 25k in cash but the idea of the city being so big scares me and the driving does too. I used to drive too but now I take the train here all the time (I am not good at driving) I have OCD and get scared all the time
I don’t have a life here and a part of me wants to leave my parents and the things I know here – I work to live and I’m exhausted of the weather . I know I am so scared in my heart of change but something in me wants out of here Does anyone have any suggestions – I plan on visiting but I doubt that will be the same as movingI am very close with my friend that is moving with me (potentially) but I kid tworry about driving around since I suck at driving and moneyI will have my job transferred with 80k in salary and 25k in cash with excellent credit I would have to buy the car thereI am hoping the rest of my student loans are paid off my February – I am working and transferring 1500k to the loan each month by working 3 jobsAm I making a mistake leaving everything behind ? I have nothing here – yes my family is here but they sheltered me growing up to control me and I never have done anybting but be trained to be a stepford wife…get an education and have babies – period The move would be either in downtown La or Southern California
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A male reader, WiseOwlE + ♥, writes (25 October 2018):
West-coast living is different from east-coast living. It is said if you can live in New York, you can live just about anywhere. I have friends who grew-up on the east-coast, and now live in California. They are very different from the kind of people they used to be. One is a lawyer, and the other is an assistant art curator at a museum. They both earn good livings; and seem to have adapted well to California. The lawyer lives in San Diego, and the curator lives in Palo Alto.I really like California, but I wouldn’t move there without a good job. and a nice place to live. Just arriving with no idea where you’re going to stay would be foolish. Both my friends had friends already living there; which is why they decided to move there, and they also had great jobs waiting for them. Establishing themselves was still pretty difficult their first few years living there. My lawyer friend had to pass the California bar exam. It’s the toughest in the country! He jokes there’s a lawyer on every block in Cali!I want to be honest with you. If you have OCD and given to being anxious or you’re a little introverted. You may want to find yourself a quiet place to live on the outskirts; but expect driving to be horrendous due to heavy traffic and gridlock, if you decide LA is your chosen destination. You will most definitely need reliable transportation!You may want to save a little more than $25K to make a cross-country move. You’ll plow through that in a matter of weeks. Like New York, rent is not cheap; if you want to live in a safe neighborhood.
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 October 2018):
I don’t think moving is a bad thing, especially when you have a job lined up already.However, if you think that LA is going to be cheaper than NY… I think you have another thing coming…So visiting first would be a good idea. Sure, you won’t feel how living there would be but you would get a feel of getting around, prices, social life. And of course the climate.Moving isn’t permanent. You can ALWAYS move back or elsewhere.I don’t know what car services cost or how well public transportation work in LA, it’s perhaps something to look into, even car pooling.While I myself would prefer to have my own car, I don’t know how I would feel about driving in a place like LA. So I don’t blame you for being a bit nervous there.When you are considering moving away from NY is LA/CA your only option?
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