So I met a girl a few weeks ago. We had a great night really flirty and she actually would have come home with me if one of her guy her friends hadn’t literally dragged her away. We sent a few messages in the following week and it was incredibly fun, funny and flirty. probably 3 or so a day maybe. I eventually asked her out on a date and she agreed. in the couple of days before the date, the texting continued and volume increased and we developed several in-jokes etc. They were by no means one-sided, with her input as flirty and on par with mine. We met up the next time i was in town (both with our groups of friends) and had another great time. she seemed to like me a hell of a lot. we got split up at one poit and i was spammed with messages and calls with her trying to find me. Again the night was fantastic and once again, the same guy stopped her going home with me. The next day i got some messges from her when she’d fnished work telling me how much she liked me and hinting that she wanted to hang out. I couldnt make it as i had to take my brother home so i went home. In the two days afterwards, The messages were very intense between us (they were as fun and flirty as ever but far far more requent).a day later she told me straight up that she ‘fancied me’ ad that she was annoyed at her friend for intefering as she wished we could have hung out more (it was the same guy that interfered, but he’s a gay guy so not interested). She asked me straight if we could do something again and after a bit of banter i said id like to. all playful and all great. we chatted a bit more and then ended the convo when she went to bed.I messaged her the next day with a great date idea, and she replied saying she would love to do it, but she was out of town this weekend (it was thursday) and that she had her parents visting the weekend after. she said that she was really down to do the date i suggested, but since she’s busy , she asked if we do something in the mean time during the week. We briefly (but clearly enough that we coudl both be there even if we never spoke) for midweek this week (to hang out for a drink after she finishes work).after this we messaged again and she went home for the weekend. She was pretty much off the radar while she was away. the texting has really really slowed down and I’ve hardly heard from her until i got a message asking how i was and that she’d been really busy etc etc for the last few days.when she does reply she puts a lot of effort into her messages. they’re are ful of quesions and really detailed and she always apologises for late replies and being so busy do we think she’s doing the whole ‘trying not to look too keen’ thing? I kind of feel as though its fair enough if she’s busy, but also feel that if she was interetsed she would easily find a minute to let me know she’s busy or to reply. It’s Monday now and I want to message her tomorrow about Wednesday – should i, or should i wait and see if she messages me and if she doesn’t, assume shes not interested?When we communicate she seems really keen, and it seems obvious that she likes me from what she says to me and to her friends in front of me (she’s been very clear in telling me she likes me, very flirty and told her friend that she wants to hang out with me instead of them (when he was trying to take her away). She’s full of complementing and seems really keen but the infrequency of text seems to suggest the opposite. it feels as though the comunication around dates gets rammed up to 1000% and then in between she tones it down a lot. is there anything to this or Am I reading into things too much or do you think she might just enjoy the attention etc?Girls are confusing and i know they like to play games sometimes.
View related questions: flirt, split up, text
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 November 2018):
I would just send her a short and sweet message asking her if she is still up for the Wednesday date.If she doesn’t reply or cancels, I’d leave her be.I think texting is a BAD way to try and get to know a person. It’s not all that genuine. So the fact that she has been texting less doesn’t mean her interest has totally dropped, it might just be that she is either saving some fun banter for the date, BUSY with work and life or maybe trying to make it less of an “entertainment” and more of a “get to know you”.
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A female reader, janniepeg + ♥, writes (20 November 2018):
I would rather have someone who texts a lot to plan dates rather than have lots of texting but no dates. I think she is afraid to fall hard too fast and scare you off. It’s not necessarily playing games. It’s nice to build things slowly because if you know everything at once then there will be little to talk about later. Taking it slow is a way to build anticipation. It’s normal to feel the way you do. The waiting part is frustrating but everyone has to go through that stage in dating. She is interested but two people have to be on par. She might not see relationships as a priority like you do. It’s hard to tell now if she’s not texting frequently because you are new, or she is just the kind of person who is not good with responding.
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