For the past few months, I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years. The long distance is supposed to last another 5 months. I’m planning to visit her next week for a few days on my way to a conference, and then again two weeks later for the rest of December. I’ve been really looking forward to it. But today, she phoned me and said that when I get there we need to talk and that she PROBABLY is going to break up with me.
Now I feel horrible. Now I have to fly half way around the world (and I do HAVE TO because of the conference) knowing that as soon as I get there I’m PROBABLY going to get dumped. In my mind, she wants the ease of doing it over the phone without the guilt of not doing it in person.Should I see her? Should I cling to the other side of PROBABLY and hope she changes her mind? Should I spend the next week trying to change her mind? If I do see her, should I stay with her (she has a bedroom to herself in student housing and said I could still stay with her “as a friend”)? Should I get a hotel room for myself? She’s a 4 hour bus ride out of my path to the conference. Should I book a hotel at the airport and make HER take the bus ride?And what about my Christmas holiday plans? All of my tickets are booked… no refunds. Do I go and sit by myself for 2 weeks in our hotel room? Do I stay home with my family and friends and let the plane ticket go to waste?I wouldn’t say we’re a perfect couple, but we’ve always got along well and been happy with each other. Since she left in september, I’ve felt more and more that I’m lucky to be with her. She has felt the opposite way which I guess is why she phoned me today…
View related questions: christmas, long distance
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A male reader, N91 + ♥, writes (26 November 2018):
Yeah I wouldn’t be taking that bus journey if I was about to get dumped. I’d rather just do it over the phone and save my time and money. Not only are you feeling down about the situation already but adding an unneeded journey and it’s expenses to it definitely won’t help.
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A female reader, Aunty BimBim + ♥, writes (26 November 2018):
Get a hotel room, you are already doing a lot of travelling, tell her your decision now so she has time to organise to travel to you …. if you are correct and she is going to end things it will be much better for you emotionally and mentally if she comes to you and does it in an “almost” neutral space.How horrid if your suspicions are correct and she expects you to go the extra four hours to stay in her space just to be dumped.
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