|Question – (28 October 2018)||2 Answers – (Newest, 28 October 2018)|
|A male age 18-21, *keys2000 writes: SoLast night I texted my gf and asked her how it started and she said that they met at a mutual friends house and he went up to her and they started talking about regulsr shit at first.Eventually they started chatting over whats app and FB .They became friends and they started meeting ,She hid all this from me. She got invited by him to his friends birthday party at his friends house ,then after a while she repeatedly visited him (my moms friends son) at HIS house often to hang out ( no sex ) after separating from me. Then around May-June one day she came to meet me at my house while my mom was oyt with her friend and we had sex and it was great we enjoyed it . After a couple of hours she left my place and went over to his house to hang out. She said that he took the first step and she didn’t stop him and they had sex. After that every other day for months they had this fling and had sex regularly. She says she didn’t love him they just had sex because he “pumped harder “and it was addicting.I worked up the nerve to ask her who knew and she texted that she admitted it to me that only a handful of close people knew. She said his mom caught them a couple of times early in the beggining of it and her mom found out. I asked her did my mom know. She didnt reply back immediately but said “I dont think so”. She said that my mom knew that we were just friends but not about the sex part. She said that his mom walked in on them a few times when his mom would have drunk get togethers at their place with some of her other girlfriends including my mom. She said she dosent know if his mom told my mom. It was a relief but Im still not 100% satisfied.She said she wanted to breakup with me as she has cheated on me . I don’t know how to take it – of course I’m hurt angry, confused and betrayed, but on the other hand things have been so good with us for so long, does this really matter? I had absolute 100% confidence in our relationship but when I think about it and picture them in the bed I also slept with her, it makes me crazy and turn into the Hulk and I see them in my dreams . I still love her but feel like its completely destroyed our relationship.Im at a rut now can anyone relate ???
View related questions: cheated on me, confidence, drunk, text
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 October 2018):
Break up, OPYou can’t trust her to NOT cheat again. What you had together is now “tainted” by her cheating. That is why you keep having these dreams of her cheating. That is your subconscious telling you that you are MAD over it.And I agree, it doesn’t matter if your mom knew. She might not have wanted to butt in.It feels like it totally destroyed the relationship, because IT DID.THAT is what happens when people CHEAT.One of the hardest things to rebuild in a relationship is trust and respect.Her cheating on YOU showed that she DIDN’T respect you or the relationship.Her cheating on you made you stop trusting her and it will down the line make you lose respect for her as well.Let her go and cut the contact. Spend some time being single.You deserve better.And… you can love and care for someone who isn’t good for you. SHE isn’t good for you.Chin up.
A female reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (28 October 2018):
She cheated on you. She broke trust between you. The anger and dreams aside, can you ever trust her 100% again? Every time she is away from you, you will be wondering where she is and, more importantly, who with. You are too young to spend the rest of your life like this. Let her go, give yourself time to heal, then move on and find someone you can trust. Whether your mum knew or not is not relevant. This is between you and your (ex) girlfriend. Don’t drag others into it. It won’t make any difference to your feelings.
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