Anyone have any advice for someone in late 20’s. I have studied to high level, but don’t have job anymore. It’s been half a year, and I simply cannot afford anything. Friends kindly ask why I don’t have work yet,l. I guess that’s their way of helping by asking.
Some friends have taken step back, one close one is being so blunt with me, probably annoyed I haven’t made much effort but it’s embarrassing because I don’t have money to even get out the house. We met up for Xmas two days ago, and everyone was asked to put some money in, and I used my last bit of change. Of course no one else fault, but I jus realised I don’t have anything else left. I moved back in with parents, and I can eat at home for free. I used to be full of fire, now I jus feel like I’ve grown up and I jus want to be normal. Have a job, my own place and a Mrs. My can see disappointment in my parents face but they don’t say it. It all started when I lost my job due to luck. It wasn’t my fault. I find myself in my room most of time, and I have to motivate myself with exciting new stuff. It keeps me happy for few hours and I’m back to miserable thoughts. My mother offered money to buy some Xmas stuff, I bought socks and those socks made me cry so much when I got home. My life is got so bad my mum has to buy socks for me. That made me cry for an hour. It’s a new feature I picked up: crying. I never done it in my 27 years of life until now.I am in tears now, whilst writing. Yes I know pathetic from a man. When a friend or family tells me something they are unsure about I : 1) encourage 2) motivate 3) tell them they can do it. These days I have to back myself up with everything telling me how wrong I am. I wish someone would tell me that who knows me that it will be okay. I guess what hurts the most is when your own mother who used to think I was doing well , but now sees the disappointment although she hides it. I wish I had the money to live alone again, I wouldn’t bother picking up and phone or open the door for criticism. Because I 100% know no one will come to me with help or solution or even positivity. That’s what I mean by given up hope. For first time in my life I am actively looking for poor people, perhaps someone I can help to make me feel better. Some stranger who I can make smile because the friends I know it doesn’t seem to be working.
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 December 2018):
I’m sorry you have come to this point in life, but most of us have been there done that. The ONLY one who can dig out out of this hole, IS YOU.That means ACTIVELY seek jobs EVERY day. Even settle for one that isn’t what you studied for. Sometimes we have to get a job that we are overqualified for, FOR a short term. For you to get back on your OWN two feet. Because WHILE you get a job (any job more or less) you can look for a job that is suited for your education, while STILL having an income.I don’t think your mom is disappointed with you per say, she just knows you CAN do better, and she feels helpless in getting you back on track.Wishing you have money again is NOT going to fix anything. Getting a JOB so you HAVE money again will.Don’t give up, write applications and send them out EVERY day. Find a “hold over” job and get cracking in saving up. And perhaps help out your parents with some of the cost of YOUR living once you DO have a job.YOU can do this. Chin up.
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A male reader, N91 + ♥, writes (24 December 2018):
The question is though, WHY do you not have a job yet? Surely in a year and a half you could of found suitable employment? I really don’t believe there isn’t a job that you could be working in right now, you say you want one but do you really? I’ve never had longer than 2 months in between jobs because I was out searching for one until I landed one so what are you doing in your spare time? Drop the pity party, your life is what YOU make it! Your life won’t improve until YOU do something about it. Get off your backside and start looking for a job, when you have money you can get back to an active social life. Until then you’ll be sat stewing with your negative thoughts.
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A female reader, NORA B +, writes (24 December 2018):
The great thing about life is that you have a ..Choice…Remembering that every day can be a Fresh start for you.Right now the good things that you have going for you.You are lucky to have a high level of education. You are living at home. You have a mother that loves you.So that is a Positive start for anyone.Would you consider going to a counsellor and having and indept chat,about your life as it is now….it is good to chat and hopefully get some help.Not having money is difficult,but is does not take money to go for a walk…get some fresh air.Keep looking for jobs.But the main thing is that you Never give up…keep going..and you will get there.In other words..Be Positive…One must always help themselves first..and if you get help from other contacts that is a Bonus.Best regards NORA B.
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