Grrr. Me and my boyfriend of 10 months have been arguing a lot lately. We’ve hit a rough patch. To make matters worse he broke his hand so he’s out of work and can’t drive right now. I moved him into my home about 2months ago. So now he’s living with me, jobless, and I’m driving him around. A few days ago he needed a ride to the place he used to live to collect mail from his old roommate, expecting a small check, like 200bucks. We’ll call my bf S, the old roommate C and Cs girlfriend M. C told my bf that his girlfriend will flash him just to prove a point. The point being that me and s were petty for me refusing to flash c a few months back and my boyfriend s getting mad at c for even asking me to. I was nervous to even take him to get his mail because he always goes in to talk and leaves me waiting a few minutes, and i knew about the situation. After about five minutes i get out and walk up to the house, and in the big window i see her standing there butt naked talking to him. I was so upset i went back to my car and drove off before noticing his phone etc was next to me so i went back and as soon as i knocked and he answered he grabbed his stuff very quickly and tried to get me out before i noticed but i already knew.
He tried telling me she only flashed him briefly and proceeded to tell me about all their conversation, 10 15 minutes of talking, and i lost my temper. Then he lost his too and said well i thought m seemed very friendly and fun unlike you, said she looks average etc, and maybe she did what she did because she thought he was cute. Later he admits that she was naked for about five minutes or more, says he didnt stare at her though, was more interested in the changes done to the house. Now he wants to work through stuff since it turns out her bf c wants to screw me all the sudden and it turns out they weren’t doing that to be friendly after all, but i can’t shake being upset that he didn’t remove himself from that situation. He stood there chatting with her while she was completely naked. Says he didnt want to be rude and just walk out. His mom owns the house so despite this swinging couple renting it, he seems to think he should be allowed to go in there whenever etc. Continues to get his mail there. He says he only said that stuff about her because we were fighting. I’m having a hard time forgiving this situation. He also says it’s male nature to look. Is this cheating? He got mad the following day because i refused to take him over there to check for the check in the mail again. And says this is moreso between me and m then it is between us and them. I’m not sure what to think about this and i don’t know how to forget about it happening. What should i do? I feel bad throwing him out with a broken hand and no where to go but i can barely talk nice to him at this point
View related questions: roommate, swinging
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 October 2018):
Just kick him out, OPThat way he can go LIVE there and see her all the time.While I would say this, HER CHOOSING to not wear clothes is OUT of his control. She is in her “home” (rental” and can walk around in the nude ALL she wants. YOU bf can not “demand” she puts on clothes.HOWEVER, he could have grabbed his mail and left. He didn’t he went on to have a 10 minute conversation with her. 1. I think to poke at you. (I can do what I want!!) 2. because he WANTED to.Is it cheating, no dear it’s not.Looking is NOT intend.When you DATE someone you don’t go “blind” for other attractive people, you still notice them. It’s what you CHOOSE to do AFTER you see someone attractive that shows intent.He is living off you… and has been for 2 months. HOW long is that going to go on for?Is he getting worker’s comp? Helping out at the house? Or he is just leeching off you?This sounds SO dysfunctional. You don’t trust him and he is an immature ass.
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