A female Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex    age 26-29, *rin0236 writes:

The Fat Decimator System

There is a coworker who works in a different department, “John”. He doesn’t go to meetings, has attitude, gossips, flirts, dates fellow coworkers, likes to mess with people, etc.

When I first talked to him about something work-related, he cut me off and walked away. John also behaved in other ways that made me realize he was a jerk. (He’s rude to other coworkers, has a temper, etc.)John talks with my coworkers a lot and when he would pass near my desk, I would hear him make noises like a “tsk” if I was checking my non-work email or once I caught him watching me as I cleaned up my desk after I spilled coffee.A few months later, he started to stare at me in an intense way. It is intimidating and he only does it from afar, so I’m never close enough to question it or tell him to stop. He never talked to me, just stared. I started to avoid him because I became uncomfortable. When my coworkers noticed, he would just shrug and look at me as if I was the one with the problem! (I feel like I’m going crazy!)At events, he is very stand-offish towards me. If we’re in a group, he stands or sits as far away from me as possible. When he sees me approaching, he literally hides in his chair. I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. He can talk with other women, so why am I the one that he treats differently? Why does he act this way? Does he just like playing these mind games with me?

View related questions: co-worker, flirt

<– Rate this Question

Reply to this Question

Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Honeypie Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me-1 Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 March 2019):

Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex    Yep, I agree.He can ONLY “play” games with you, IF you play along. So far you have.IGNORE the man. DO your job. If he wants to “tsk” walking by your desk WHO cares?And why are you upset that he talks to OTHER women and not you? He is an ASS from what you describe, why on EARTH would you want to have anything to do with him?He might just not like you. It happens. So what? He isn’t your boss and it’s your work place not your social scene.Pretend he isn’t there, BE professional, do your job and if you want to TALK to people at work, PICK the hard working and positive people (and don’t talk smack about this guy or any other coworkers).YOU are the one making this into a drama. Not him, even for all his antics.

<– Rate this answer

A female reader, CindyCares Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me-2 Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 March 2019):

Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me-1 Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex    He can only play games with you, if you play along. But if you go about your business and work as if John did not even exist, (and as you should do because you are there to perform a job , not to socialize with everybody or to get distracted by some colleague’s antics ) ; problem solved and games over.You sound displeased or disappointed that John , some times, is giving you a wide berth. Why ? If he is such a rude, gossipy, bad- tempered individual, the least you have to deal with him, the best for you !

<– Rate this answer

………………………….   

A male reader, N91 Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me-3 Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 March 2019):

Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me-2 Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex    In all honesty, why do you care?You’re at work, not a social gathering. If he wants to act like a child then let him. Concentrate on the job you’re being paid to do.

<– Rate this answer

………………………….   

A male reader, WiseOwlE Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me-1 Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 March 2019):

You first describe “John’s” cringiness; and then by the end of the post you seem disappointed he doesn’t seem to like you. You’re far too aware of his every move! Seems you’d be too engrossed in your work to notice him much!What exactly is the concern? That he is weird, or that he doesn’t flirt or treat you like he inappropriately treats other women?Be glad he keeps his distance. He can make all the expressions and gestures he wants from afar. If they come directly at you; and he invades your personal-space, take it to Human Resources. If he is creating a hostile work-environment for you; keep record of the time and place of each incident, and who witnessed it. Submit your complaint to your manager and human resources. If he’s disruptive in the workplace, and argues with co-workers; it is likely it has already been reported and addressed. He’s a known “character” around the workplace; so he’s given a pass. That doesn’t mean they’re not building a case against him.You have a right to ask him to please keep his stares and gestures to himself. Then ignore him. You’re an adult, and you know you will always have that one co-worker that rubs you the wrong way. There’s no-way you can make him like you; but if he goes out of his way to intimidate you; that is cause for a formal complaint to your employer. Make absolutely and most abundantly certain, that your complaint is because he is actually harassing you. Not because you want him to flirt like he does at other women. I feel some reservations about your post. I don’t want to advise you to report someone and jeopardize his job for the wrong reasons.From what you described, he’s already digging a hole for himself. He’ll dig so deep, he may look around and find he can’t climb out of it!

<– Rate this answer

………………………….   

A female reader, Youcannotbeserious Health And Fitness is-my-male-coworker-playing-mind-games-with-me-3 Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 March 2019):

Health And Fitness cb00d1ef-0a14-495d-ae29-55bd6b6b2f04 Is my male coworker playing mind games with me? Relationship & Sex    Honestly, why do you even care? You say yourself, the man is a jerk. I am tempted to leave my response at that, but will elaborate.You are at work to work, so I would just keep my head down and work (you can check personal emails in personal time – don’t give this guy ammunition). He is not your supervisor or anything, so I don’t see any reason for you to worry about his idiotic behaviour towards you. You can’t control what he does (perhaps HE can’t either?) but you CAN control how – or, indeed, WHETHER – you react to it. If you are noticing him staring at you from a distance, then you are obviously looking at him too. Stop checking what he is doing. Ignore him to the best of your ability, unless you need to communicate about work. If he sees his behaviour is not having an effect on you – or, better still, that you are not even noticing – he will move on. The man’s a jerk. Rise about what he does, ignore it and concentrate on your work. You are not going to get on with everyone at work. Leave him to his gossiping and attitude while you concentrate on what you are paid to do. Your bosses will be aware of his lack of work ethic. Give him enough rope and he will hang himself.

<– Rate this answer

………………………….   

The 2 Week Diet