A male Health And Fitness my-girlfriend-found-the-engagement-ring-box-and-thinks-im-cheating My girlfriend found the engagement ring box and thinks I'm cheating Relationship & Sex    age 41-50, anonymous writes: More than a year ago I bought an expensive emerald engagement ring to give to my live-in girlfriend intending to propose. I never quite found the right time because of some personal problems in her family and then later on we had big fight and I realized there had to be some issues addressed in the relationship before I made that commitment. I would say things are a little bit rocky right now. Unfortunately for me, although I put the ring in an antique silver box in a very safe place I decided that the leather box it originally came in was fancy enough to save, too. I put it on the top shelf in the kitchen behind a lot of other stuff and forgot about it.My girlfriend decided to do some reorganizing and she found the (empty) box. She confronted me about it and told me she would DEFINITELY remember getting jewelry in a fancy box like that and why I had it. Also, the name of the well-known jeweler was imprinted on the paper box that the leather box was stored in. She told me “I don’t know who you bought that for but it wasn’t me.” I of course denied I bought jewelry for anyone other than her and told her I couldn’t remember which piece of her jewelry (I have bought her quite a lot) came in that box but I saved it because I thought it might be useful. She didn’t buy that.Now I am in a pickle. I could give her the ring for Christmas, I suppose, and pretend I was trying to keep it a secret from her. However, this ring is a lot more expensive than the usual jewelry I might buy her which might raise other questions. I am not really sure what to do. Any advice is appreciated!

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A male reader, WiseOwlE Health And Fitness my-girlfriend-found-the-engagement-ring-box-and-thinks-im-cheating My girlfriend found the engagement ring box and thinks I'm cheating Relationship & Sex     + , writes (8 October 2018):

Don’t propose to someone out of guilt or to smooth-over a disagreement. If she’s temperamental or unreasonable; I can see where you would be hesitant and might delay the engagement. Don’t keep sitting on it either! Poop or get off the pot! Either you love her enough to marry her, or you don’t! There’s no place in the middle.Compatibility and trust are very important ingredients for a successful long-term relationship and/or marriage. Temperamental or touchy people never change. In fact, age makes them worse. Why so much doubt and procrastination?Why do you fight so much? That’s not a good sign for things to come!How can you marry someone who doesn’t trust you? How can you marry someone you have to continuously keep delaying your marriage-proposal? You’re two mature-people; and experienced enough to know how to navigate or maneuver your way over rough-spots. If that can’t be done, marriage won’t work. Worse comes to worse, you will have to show her the ring and explain to her why you’ve delayed your proposal. Be honest and straightforward with her. She can’t be distrusting and argumentative; and expect someone to want to make her his partner for life. She’ll insist on taking that ring; but you’re going to have to decide if she truly deserves it.Stop messing-around! You’re old enough to know better!

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A female reader, Honeypie Health And Fitness my-girlfriend-found-the-engagement-ring-box-and-thinks-im-cheating My girlfriend found the engagement ring box and thinks I'm cheating Relationship & Sex     + , writes (8 October 2018):

Health And Fitness 98df9f73-904a-4dd9-a948-14179b833b87 My girlfriend found the engagement ring box and thinks I'm cheating Relationship & Sex    If she thinks you are cheating, this is NOT the time to propose.There is a lack of trust here and I have to ask why.I don’t see a logic leap from an empty box from a jeweler to cheating. So I would definitely NOT propose if there are trust issues going on.Giving her the ring for Christmas to get out of a lie, it’s just not the right thing to do.Proposing is an offer of marriage, not a way to get out of “trouble” brought on by lying.So you have to decide, DO I really WANT to marry this woman? Have we made progress with the issues we had?Because a RING on her finger won’t fix issues.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2018):

You’re right; it is tricky. An engagement is a bad idea if things are rocky. Telling her might make it worse because of the “I was going to propose, but it’s not right, at the moment” thing.I guess you’re going to have to say “it’s an engagement box and I’ve kept the ring separately because I was waiting for the right time. I want us to work through some things first, but you are who it’s for.”

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