A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

The Fat Decimator System

My married lover travels with his wife up to 3-5 times a year. The longest he is away is a month at a time. It’s very difficult for me, even though I’ve chosen to place myself in this role. I feel resentful and left behind. They are natural emotions. And no less valid because he is married. I feel them.

So, I sit on the sidelines every time they go away. Recently they went to Japan. And soon they are off to Florida for 3 weeks.I cope by trying to keep busy but it’s still terribly hard. I’ve recently come into some money and am able to afford travel on my own. He is not happy with the idea that I want to take holidays on my own while he is gone. Is that fair?He says he is fine with it if I go with my sister, gf’s or mom but not alone. Why? He said if a man hits on me I won’t have the excuse of being with a bf on the trip. He says if I go alone, I’m out looking to have sex with random men. And this is so far from the truth. I may be stupid being involved with a married guy but I do love him and I’ve always been faithful.He says I’m trying to make him jealous, giving him a taste of his own medicine. Trying to punish him. I just don’t understand why I can’t have fun too? Without involving other men in the picture when I’m on a trip? Does he NOT trust me? Is this what it’s all about? Thinking not only would I have opportunities to cheat on him but that I would take them?? What do you think? Does he have any valid points?

View related questions: jealous, money

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A male reader, Code Warrior Health And Fitness my-married-lover-doesnt-want-me-to-go-on-trips-by-myself-why-doesnt-he-trust-me My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (31 October 2018):

Health And Fitness my-married-lover-doesnt-want-me-to-go-on-trips-by-myself-why-doesnt-he-trust-me My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me? Relationship & Sex    He doesn’t trust you because you’re not trustworthy. After all, you don’t respect his marriage and you seem to think it’s ok to have sex with a married man, so, on what basis can he trust you? Yeah, he’s a hypocrite to be sure, but what else do you expect from a cheater? Chances are, he probably thinks that only a slut would agree to be his mistress. Consequently, when you tell him you’re going on a trip by yourself, his assumption is that you’re only doing that because you intend to act like a slut.While you may truly love him, he probably thinks of you as the slut he screws on the side. Take off your blinders and look objectively at the things he says to you.

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A male reader, N91 Health And Fitness my-married-lover-doesnt-want-me-to-go-on-trips-by-myself-why-doesnt-he-trust-me-1 My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (31 October 2018):

Health And Fitness my-married-lover-doesnt-want-me-to-go-on-trips-by-myself-why-doesnt-he-trust-me-1 My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me? Relationship & Sex    What valid points could he have? He is an absolute scumbag. How can you love a lying cheat? Honestly, I’m intrigued. What could he be giving you that an honest single man couldn’t?This guy is basically calling you a slut that can’t control her urges when you’re alone. This is who you love? Really? I feel so sorry for you. It’s sad that some men can convince women that they’re worth so little.Think in ten years time when you’re possibly 60+ and still single, on the way to dying alone whilst this guy still swans about putting his dick wherever he fancies whilst still married to his poor wife. Is that the future you want for yourself? Where is your self respect? Who gives a shit why he doesn’t trust you, concentrate on finding someone who respects you and actually loves you.Get your priorities in order.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Health And Fitness my-married-lover-doesnt-want-me-to-go-on-trips-by-myself-why-doesnt-he-trust-me-2 My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (31 October 2018):

Health And Fitness my-married-lover-doesnt-want-me-to-go-on-trips-by-myself-why-doesnt-he-trust-me-2 My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me? Relationship & Sex    Trust, respect, faith are all lost on him. Why? Because he’s a lowlife who’s cheating on his wife with you and cheating on you with God knows who.He knows his own flaws far too well and thinks that if he’s not be trusted then others are not as well. I bet he’s extremely possessive of his wife.. The kind of man who wouldn’t allow her to wear too dark a shade of lipstick lest she draw attention to herself. To answer your question, of course he doesn’t trust you! He probably thinks of you as someone who has no morals because if you can sleep with him, a married man, then you are no better than… Let’s not say it but you know it’s not a very good word. While YOU know you’re not like that, he doesn’t…because you’re just a warm body to him, nothing more. He’s never tried to get to know you better, to spare a thought for your feelings. As long as he’s having the affair with you, he wants you all to himself. After he’s done with you, you can go to hell for all he cares.Tell me OP, in your heart of hearts you know all this don’t you? Anyone would. What happened that you had to lower yourself to this level to become someone’s mistress? Do you really devalue yourself that much? Don’t you think you deserve so much better?

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A female reader, Honeypie Health And Fitness my-married-lover-doesnt-want-me-to-go-on-trips-by-myself-why-doesnt-he-trust-me My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me? Relationship & Sex     + , writes (31 October 2018):

Health And Fitness 98df9f73-904a-4dd9-a948-14179b833b87 My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me? Relationship & Sex    No, he has ABSOLUTELY no reason to try and TELL you what you can and can not do. You aren’t OWNED by him or MARRIED to him or even DATING him.YOU are his mistress, his dirty little secret on the side.I think it’s more important to hear from you WHY you think he actually has a say in this?And WHY on Earth you are settling for being someone’s mistress, why sell yourself short and take someone else’s leftovers?Who cares what he thinks?! what do YOU think?!This married man doesn’t trust you to behave and not have sex with random strangers… why do you think he believes that? *hint* Because he doesn’t have an ounce of respect for you and because HE would go have sex with ANY random women who was willing if he was on a vacation by himself. He is PROJECTING his OWN bad behavior onto you.As it reads, he seems to think you are some grand WHORE who can’t take a vacation without having to jump every single available man…. Wow… and you WANT to be in an affair with him?

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