A female Health And Fitness my-new-boyfriend-has-become-obsessed-about-my-past My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past Relationship & Sex    age 36-40, anonymous writes:

The Fat Decimator System

Hi there

I ended my marriage a year ago due to domestic violence. I was married for 10 years and have 2 children out of this marriage. I’m in a long term relationship with this wonderful man – very caring, sympathetic, logical and strong minded person. We share a wonderful relationship – respect, similar values of life, similar goals and interests, truly deep feelings, compassion and great chemistry. With my purest of intentions I shared my rather spattered past. 19 years ago, in university I was in a physical relationship for 1.5years; this wasn’t a casual fling but there was long term intentions that didn’t work out. During this time I fell pregnant had to have a D and C to clear it. I moved on considering this person was not pursuing it further. There was no bad showdown just a understanding and I left this place. I moved on and while doing my masters I was briefly engaged to a longtime friend. He called it off and dumped me. We did not have a physical relationship. A year later, on my parents pressure I was married in an arranged alliance.I informed my partner of all this and this has created a rift because he belives I have been very promiscuous and am not telling him the truth. He insists on details of my encounters which I sometimes find it difficult to even remember as 19 years is a long time. He revisits my sexual past in his imagination to the point of adding details that had not happened. I have tried telling him that I have not held back information but details make me feel very unhinged especially more so because I love him so much. We share a beautiful bond and I’m really in love with him. Please help me repair our relationship and help him and also let him know how much I care.

View related questions: engaged, sexual past, university, violent

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A male reader, N91 Health And Fitness my-new-boyfriend-has-become-obsessed-about-my-past-1 My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past Relationship & Sex     + , writes (14 September 2018):

Health And Fitness my-new-boyfriend-has-become-obsessed-about-my-past My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past Relationship & Sex    Doesn’t sound like you’re with the man you’re describing.If he was that caring and sympathetic then why is he not accepting of your past? This doesn’t sound like something he’s going to get over anytime soon and it seems like he’s being very persistent in doubting you.I’d say this relationship looks like it’s run it’s course. He doesn’t believe you so what is there if there’s no trust?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious Health And Fitness my-new-boyfriend-has-become-obsessed-about-my-past-1 My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past Relationship & Sex     + , writes (14 September 2018):

Health And Fitness my-new-boyfriend-has-become-obsessed-about-my-past-1 My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past Relationship & Sex    Sweetheart, you need to take off your rose coloured spectacles and see this man for what he truly is, not what you WISH/HOPE/NEED him to be. You have basically gone from one abusive relationship into another. He may not physically abuse you (yet), but this is psychological & verbal abuse. Step back and see him for what he is: possessive, jealous, suspicious and completely lacking in sympathy or empathy. Believe me when I tell you, YOU cannot fix him. He is what he is. Is this how you want to spend the NEXT 10 years of your life?Personally I think you deserve better. I hope you do too.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate Health And Fitness us My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past Relationship & Sex     + , writes (14 September 2018):

He is none of the things you listed. Strong caring sympathetic and logical men do not act this way. He is in fact a weak petty jealous bully.His behavior is abusive. You need to take the blinders off and see this man for what he is and where your relationship is heading.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE Health And Fitness us My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past Relationship & Sex     + , writes (13 September 2018):

Apparently the bond is not as beautiful as you’re perceiving it to be. Telling him how much you care doesn’t settle his concerns; and you may be over-rating his character.You have to suggest to him that you feel he has been pressuring you too much over very personal matters that you’ve come this far to overcome and forget. Many incidents are painful to recall; and asking you to revisit the past is too much. If he understands this and backs-off, fine. He either respects your privacy, or he doesn’t. All that he is demanding to know is none of his business. You’ve hit a brick-wall; if he has changed his opinion of what kind of person you are. You don’t always gain trust by over-sharing.Especially disclosing details of your past sex-life. That should be off-limits; unless you’re HIV+, or have herpes, then your partners need to know.The fact is, there is no getting around a person who spends a lot of time obsessing over your background. It means he is judging you in a bad way; and simply does not trust you.Now you’re going to have to reassess and reevaluate this person you seem to believe is such a great guy. Apparently you are beginning to see his true colors. Now comeback down to earth!Set your boundaries, and reinforce them. Stop repeating yourself. If he can’t let go of your past, you will have to let him go. I don’t care how in-love you are; he has to be on the same page! He has to trust you, and show you respect. You didn’t help the situation by telling him you’re holding back details; because he will only keep pressing you for them.I guess you need to rollback your loving-feelings a bit; because it sounds like this guy is more of a police investigator than a boyfriend. You’ve got children, and they don’t need to watch you unravel over a man driving you over the edge. That’s not love!

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