Ex bf went to prison. It was severe emotional abuse for four years before that. I told him I will help him without any expectations. But he asked for a relationship again.
He came out of prison, ran back to his ex-wife, humiliated me before other girls on phone. I clearly heard the girl laugh when he was threatening to beat my ass in anger. He told me I imagined it. Then the girl sent a small clip of a man spanking a woman. He chuckled and said, ” I imagine why she would send me that…”.I finally moved away to another state. I am not able to get over him. I had an emotional breakdown today. I dont want to get back the money I have spent on him. I just would like to move on. Due to my culture, I hadn’t dated much. He has threatened restraining order if I ever contact him again. Now that he is out of prison, he doesnt need me any more I am asking for tough love. I don’t mind how harsh you dish it out to me. Please help me get my life together again. I am starting counseling as well.
View related questions: emotionally abusive, ex-wife, his ex, money, move on
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A female reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 March 2019):
Focus on you. Rebuilding your life from the socks up.So where do you start? Well, counseling is good. That way you can work through WHY you felt a NEED to help a guy who hurt you like that. That is really what you need to figure out. WHY you ALLOWED someone to treat you like crap. An do not go looking for a date until you feel you understand what happened and HOW to AVOID repeating the same mistake and choice of man.Do you belong to a church? IF so, talk to your priest, pastor, rabbi, etc. Volunteer in helping others. Perhaps at a woman’s shelter or start with something simpler like an animal shelter.Do you work? If not, find a job. Maybe look into taking some classes to help you improve you skills.Do you have hobbies? It might be something you have done in ages or something new. Pick that up and see how it makes you feel.You don’t NEED him in your life. Someone who treated you like a verbal punching bag is NOT someone WORTHY of being around you.Keep focusing on building a life you would want to have and be the person you can be.You don’t NEED any of us to tell you that HE was NO good. But you might need to hear that YOU deserve better. Learn to LOVE yourself. You deserve that too.
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