I dont know what’s going on with my relationship. I’ve been with him for 2 years but things seem so rocky at the moment.
We are arguing quite a bit and he’s drinking a lot. But the thing is the arguments are over such trivial things.We had plans for him to come to mine tonight as this weekend has going to his friends who lives a few hours away that he hadn’t seen in a while.I’d been looking forward to seeing him all day and ge picked me up from work with a bit smile and kiss. Just lovely.As he was paring outside mine there was a person walking passed who was obviously albino and he just laughs and says “milky” we were in he car so this person didn’t hear but I didn’t like it.I said he shouldn’t make fun of someones disability and it was bullying. He was denying thay because the person didn’t hear meaning it’s not bullying. I kept saying it was wrong and he mumbled “I wonder why I’m with you sometimes ” so I got out of the car and walked to my houseHe phoned me and he was screaming calling me a twerp,stupid and saying I have no sense of humour and I’m dry. Then he hung up.I ended up texting him saying I stood by what I said and he ranted saying “you’re a clown. You’re a snob. You think you’re superior than me with your great job. Its what I do I take the piss and if you have to be so childish and cant take a joke your defo not right for me I cant be with someone that pathetic”And that was that. So where am I? Did I go over the top? Should I have just left it when he made his joke?I know where different and he says it so often and on the weekend we met some of his friends for drinks (I donr really drink) and one of his girl mates they were laughing together all night same humour etcSo then I get jealous thinking he should be with her. What am I to do?
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A female reader, CindyCares + ♥, writes (29 March 2019):
Probably, realize that he is right, you are not well suited to each other; leave him to the company of his girl mate who shares with him the same kind of ” humour “, and have no regrets .You don’t need to hang out with someone who, for fun, ” takes the piss ” out of people with a genetic anomaly. And mind you, personally I am not a very politically correct type, if the joke is good , I admit candidly, I will laugh at VERY non -PC jokes , things that in other countries than mine ( which is , luckily for me , very jaded about humour ) would be called ” offensive “- But – the joke is not even good, or clever ! What ‘s so funny about calling “milky” a person with very white hair and skin ? ( which anyway the person has not voluntarily chosen to have ) Where’s the laugh in it ? Does he call ” chocolatey ” all the dark skinned people he happens to meet ? This guy, or his sense of humour at least, is way coarser-grained than you are, so you’d better let him have fun with the likes of him.Btw : I know that you can’t see it my way, because in UK theer is a strong drinking culture and certain things are ” normal” there, which are not in other cultures- but IMO, you say he drinks a lot, and his hysterical reaction to your reproach…is clearly the drink talking. Ok, nobody enjoys having his knuckles rapped – but his reaction was offensive, insulting and way too aggressive- typical of a person who drinks too much, or at least drinks too much for having a civilized discussion. Since you say that you are a non-drinker— that’s another area of incompatibility which is generally much more problematic than people want to admit.
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