A female Health And Fitness we-had-a-threesome-things-went-wrong-and-now-my-husband-blames-me We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me Relationship & Sex    age 41-50, anonymous writes:

The Fat Decimator System

After 20 yrs of marriage my husband asks for threesome, after two yrs we finally tell my friend that she is our threesome girl, my husband was madly in love with me, then I hear that she is coming over to visit during the day to smoke, then I notice them teasing and she is looking him in the eyes and very communitive and my husband is asking me how I would feel if it works out could we have her as a friend with benefits, I told him what about one great threesome that’s all I want that’s what you said, then I see a difference in him towards me. They are hanging around each and he is telling her our secrets and talking to her about our relationship like we didn’t need a counselor before, stuff like don’t talk to her like that, and looking at her for guidance on how to keep me happy, despite all this we went through with threesome. I started it off because they had not had any physical contact and I felt weird because he hardly had any contact with me, he never penetrated me during the threesome except fingering, he penetrated her the whole time, I had 3 request, no kissing, not in our bed, and he promised he loved me and wouldn’t fall in love, in the middle she asked if we could go back to our house to finish in spare bedroom, I said ok, the whole time she is talking about how our king size bed would be awrsome, my husband told her with sad face said wants to keep our bedroom sacred for us as a couple, she asks again later and I said lets go then and they got all upset saying I always spoiled stuff, the threesome stopped because then she was sticking her finger in me while I was pleasuring my husband and she made me stop completely because she gammed her fingers so hard I almost cried. I was done by this time told my husband I was going to bed, he came with me but told her in a sad voice im sorry, he fell straight to sleep, needless to say the next day things were very different between us all, my husband got up took shower and went to his mancave, ifound her in there too laughing and they got all quiet when I entered the room. Our marriage is bad now and we are no longer friends with her, he blames me for everything and has animosity towards me for so called making her leave. Help

View related questions: fingering, friend with benefits, kissing, teasing, threesome

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Health And Fitness we-had-a-threesome-things-went-wrong-and-now-my-husband-blames-me-1 We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 November 2018):

Health And Fitness we-had-a-threesome-things-went-wrong-and-now-my-husband-blames-me We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me Relationship & Sex    Start getting your ducks in a row, and by this I mean get your finances in order, close any joint accounts, make sure any household expenses are not in your name only and seek legal advise. I does not sound good for your marriage.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE Health And Fitness we-had-a-threesome-things-went-wrong-and-now-my-husband-blames-me We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 November 2018):

Some brains are wired entirely for monogamy, and some are not. Once you decide to go out of your way sexually to please your mate; weigh it carefully in your mind to decide how much pleasure you will derive from it, and consider what consequences a few minutes of pleasure will bring against your marriage. Swinging-singles just go their separate-ways; but it’s quite complicated for those who are married. Especially, when one partner has to talk the other into it. If you feel reservations; you go with your gut. It’s water under the bridge now, so now what do we do?Let’s call a spade a spade. Your husband didn’t just out of the clear-blue want a threesome; he wanted your permission to have sex with your friend. He wanted a fresh new unfamiliar vagina. He had his eyes set on her long before asking.For now, you first have to come to terms with your feelings about all this. Don’t fully blame it on your husband! You could have said no. You could have questioned him as to why it was so important to him to bring someone else into your sex-life? You didn’t. You also went-in almost daring him to do it. Did you want to see if he would go through with it? Of course he would! He had your permission! So he can stick you with half the blame, it ever happened. Clever! Sly as a fox!This is by no means a mockery of your feelings. I know this is serious. You’re at your wit’s-end, and broken-hearted. Disappointed in him, and in yourself, for not knowing any better. You did know better. You took vows, and when you break them; you suffer the results of your choices. The simplest of lessons to be learned here. It wasn’t going to make you as thrilled or excited about it as it would the other two; because you didn’t really want to. On top of that, you set silly rules that you knew no one would pay any attention to! I suspect she has been on your nice big bed, long before all of this. She needed more room to distance you from the action. She had her own selfish intentions.Now you’re in it up to your neck. I suggest you get marriage counseling to deal with the inner-conflicts. You need to be professionally-coached how to speak directly to your husband. You need to openly express your feelings; while you gain the courage to make a decision. Whether he’s still a keeper; or if you should divorce his sneaky manipulative ass. You can’t read his mind. You can only go by his deeds. If it was just for fun, he wouldn’t cop an attitude towards you. He would be more concerned about keeping you happy than satisfying his greedy dick!

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A female reader, Honeypie Health And Fitness we-had-a-threesome-things-went-wrong-and-now-my-husband-blames-me We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 November 2018):

Health And Fitness we-had-a-threesome-things-went-wrong-and-now-my-husband-blames-me-1 We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me Relationship & Sex    You made a bad judgement call in having a 3-some. My guess is that your sex life (pre 3-some) was bit stale and you wanted to spice it up.You say your husband was madly in love with you… but I have to question that a tad. Why? Because you also write that he ASKED to have her as his FWB (that wasn’t for YOU that was FOR him). You say he was sharing details about your marriage that was NONE of her business, that again wasn’t for YOUR benefit but for HIS. To make her feel “bad” for him and to feel special for him singling her out.When it came down to the actual 3-some he stuck to NONE of the pre-agreed upon rules. Again, because all he cared about was getting to have SEX with another woman. And after the sex? He PUNISHED you for “ruining” his fantasy.He ignored YOU and spend time with HER.ALL of these examples “plucked” from your post doesn’t SHOW a man who DEARLY loves his wife, but a selfish prick you wanted his wife’s permission to CHEAT right in front of her. And he wanted to SCREW your friend. BAD.So what can you do?Well, what is done is done. You can’t put THAT cat back in the sack.All you CAN do is learn from this and there are a couple of lessons.1. ADDING more people to a marriage bed/relationship for sex is RARELY as great as the fantasy of it. And it RARELY ever works out for people.2. This was not a good idea and shouldn’t be repeated. Ever.3. Your husband wanted this but made YOU feel like shit about agreeing to it. It’s manipulative and mean.4. The SOONER you two (you and your husband) sit down and have a talk about this and figure out HOW do we move forward, the better.He KNOWS this wasn’t a pleasant experience for you yet he STILL blame you!

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious Health And Fitness gb We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me Relationship & Sex     + , writes (24 November 2018):

Health And Fitness cb00d1ef-0a14-495d-ae29-55bd6b6b2f04 We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me Relationship & Sex    Your story should serve as a warning to anyone else who is considering involving a third party in what should be a two-party relationship. We hear of this sort of outcome time and time again, yet people still think THEY can handle it, that THEY will not get hurt. WRONG! Yes, occasionally this does work out, but it is the exception rather than the rule. What’s done is done and you can’t go back. I would question whether your husband has really cut your friend out of his life. I would not be at all surprised if they are still seeing each other and still having sex. You and your husband need to sit down and, calmly and honestly, discuss how you feel and decide on how to move forward from this. If you do manage to survive it, never ever involve someone else in your relationship again. There is plenty of information available on spicing up your sex life without involving someone else.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2018):

Do you have any kids? is your friend married? If so then where is her husband in all this? So in brief you are saying that you invited your friend to share your bed with you and your husband and things didn’t go well and now they are more chummy and you are being left out. Well, let us face it now you can’t undo what has happened. You and your husband have to sit and discuss this as mature adults w/o the presence of the other party and decide what to do now. Can you forget what happened and admit it was a big mistake or would he rather be with the other one than you?

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