I dont quite get it. Im 22, have been having sex since i was 16. I’ve never really been one for it thoughm and it seems like the older i get the less it even interests me.
My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years and things were hot and great at the beginning. He still turns me on. I can feel being horny just i cant seem to get wet at all and idk why. Hes tried buying me a toy vibrator to see if that would help, but it just feels wrong to me to use. I don’t masturbate, have tried it does nothing, tried porn, cant find the kind for me or i just have no interest in it. I am 22! I wanna be able to have sex why cant i!?
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A male reader, WiseOwlE + ♥, writes (2 January 2019):
Maybe it’s not the physical act of intercourse; but the emotional-attachment is no longer there. Arousal for some people is attached to their emotions and feelings for their partner. You talk about all the ways you’ve tried to get yourself aroused. Have you had a complete health check-up?I think the bigger question is, are you still in-love with your boyfriend? You contradict your entire post when you say he turns you on; but at the same time claim you have no interest in sex.Sometimes a bad sexual-experience, or a traumatic- experience that involved abuse or sexual-assault in the past; will leave something buried deep in your subconscious-memory. Even if you’ve suppressed it for many years or fight it; it could be making its way back to the surface.It might be necessary to see a therapist to make sure there isn’t something you’ve been suppressing since you were 16. That’s pretty young to begin having sex; and most often, girls are manipulated into it. They think it was consensual; because they liked the boy, but deep down they weren’t really ready. So flashbacks occur every-time they have sex. There is also guilt from over-conditioning, where young girls are told sex is bad, or slutty behavior. It may have been relentlessly stressed you should wait until marriage, or “burn in hell.” Not that abstinence or being virtuous is a bad thing; but the over-emphasizing how bad “she is” for doing it, can seriously traumatize a young person with guilt and remorse. Inner-conflict will kill your desire.If you grew-up in a very religious environment, your parents were strict or conservative, and very deep-rooted in cultural-tradition; your upbringing can nag at you about your behavior. Maybe you’re ready to settle-down; and want a more meaningful commitment from your man. You may fear pregnancy before you’re ready for motherhood.I am a Christian. I have to mention I do not advocate against anyone’s religious convictions. If you feel by faith casual-sex is an act in contradiction to your faith; I am not one to stand in the way of that. I don’t believe in meaningless-sex, or promiscuity that could put you at risk to STD’s or unwanted pregnancy. That’s just me.
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